Light of my Life
by Tyytyys Yaoi
Summary: Boruto is desperate for a job to help support his family and seeks employment from the wealthiest man around. Turning into his personal butler may be the craziest thing he's ever done in his life-or maybe the best. Kawaki needs someone like Boruto around, even if he doesn't know it at first. Living together can certainly prove to make two people closer than they ever intended.
1. Chapter 1

**Light of My Life**

**Chapter One**

**.**

I turned over in bed as the sun shined right between the curtains, bringing light to the dark room. A quick peek at my phone told me it was early afternoon and I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. I was restless last night and haunted by nightmares, thought they were really just my memories. I wished I could forget it all, but then what would I have left? Everyday of my life I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, everything was tainted. It was fucked up.

Hell, I was fucked up. I wasn't truly living, I simply existed in this old and empty house. I sat up and ran a hand though my hair in frustration. I was tired of waking up like this morning after morning. Thinking about things I couldn't change just pissed me off and knowing that I didn't make any effort to change the things I could pissed me off even more. I wasn't a fan of pity parties and depression could go fuck itself. Throwing the covers off of myself, I got out of bed and took a shower.

Unfortunately I didn't have the luxury of laying in bed all day, I had things to do and people to direct. Whether I liked it or not I was the head of the household and employer to many. I didn't particularly like sitting around, but even after all these years I hated having people serve me. It had been my life since I was born, but I preferred to be alone. If I could do it myself then I didn't want other people doing it for me.

Once I was finished with my shower, I got dressed in my usual black button up shirt with a silver vest over it. I made sure my shirt was tucked inside my black dress pants and put on my leather shoes. Next came my cufflinks and a part of me was sick at how engraved a lot of my habits were. 'Dressed to impress', but I honestly didn't give a fuck. My piercings and tattoos showed as much. Old habits die hard, but I was going to do whatever I wanted.

I left my bedroom and turned the corner to go down the long stairway. I was feeling a little off, but chalked it up to my lack of sleep. I was on my way to my office when I heard knocking. The loud and foriegn sound put me on edge and for a second I thought I was imagining it. The main house was off limits, every staff member knew that so who the fuck was at my door? Thinking something might be wrong, I back tracked and went to the main entrance with a frown on my face.

When I reached the door and pulled it open, I was met with a blond stranger. "How did you get in here?" I asked suspiciously, staring down into cerulean eyes. The house was located near the very back of my family's land, there was no way he could have gotten through the gates, yet here he was.

The short boy smiled brightly at me as he scratched the back of his head. "I walked." He laughed lightly.

My eyes narrowed and I took a closer look at the young man. No, young boy would be more accurate. His messy blond hair reached just below his ears and he was dressed in old blue jeans. The dirty and sweaty T-shirt caught my attention the most, but he had said he walked all the way here. The path to the main house was long as fuck, definitely not an easy feat.

"Why are you here?" I was curious despite a member of my staff letting in some random boy from the countryside.

"Oh, well . . ." He began, wiping his brow before explaining. "I know you have a big place here and I really need some work. So I was hoping you had something I could do. I mean, I can do anything."

He was clearly just a kid, making offers like that. "Work, huh? I have all the help I need so-" I was cut off by the sound of my stomach growling. "Well shit . . ." I grumbled. When was the last time I ate?

"Hm. I can cook too, ya know? Come on, I'll do a great job!" He grinned at me, clasping his hands together pleadingly.

For some reason I found his brightness irritating. "You're persistent and grasping at straws." I said. He was seriously asking to cook just because my stomach growled, certainly a determined guy, but every position was filled aside from . . . "A butler. That's the best I can do."

"I can do that." He told me excitedly. "Want me to get started now then? You need to eat."

This boy was weird. "Just like that? You're going to accept without knowing the conditions?" I wasn't even sure if I wanted him around. "Besides that, you are aware you're at the Kyū estate?" There wasn't a rich family with a reputation worse than mine, much less one from old money.

"I really need the work, if I can make money nothing else matters. And yes, I know where I am." He was still smiling as he stared up at me. "So let me get to work, alright?"

He was either an idiot or really desperate, probably both, but I wasn't so high and mighty that I would turn away someone asking for work. "Fine." I sighed and stepped aside to let him in.

The boy walked in, taking a look around. He whistled before looking back at me with cocked brows. "This place is huge!" He said, taking a few steps ahead. "It might take me a while to find the kitchen if you don't show me. Oh and I'm Boruto by the way."

"Lovely." I drawled and passed him in two strides. I got the feeling he was a talker and I didn't know what the hell I was doing, this was out there even for me. "The kitchen is this way. And you can call me Kawaki."

"That's a nice name." He commented as he followed behind me with hurried steps. "Thank you for giving me some work, Kawaki."

"You're welcome, but there's a good chance you'll regret this in the future." I told him and explained his duties along the way, giving him the tasks my maid used to have. "I expect you to cook and clean the house, but certain rooms are off limits. I'll give you a map, I'm sure I have one in my office. If you can do anything as you claim then this at least should be no problem. I don't like people coming in and out of my house, so you'll have to move in." This was a bad idea, why was I letting someone into my space like this? "Still want the job?"

"Of course I do!" He said quickly. "I mean . . . I will have to let my parents know. Other than that, I'm good to go."

I stopped in my tracks at that. It was time to get to the important question. "How old are you?" I asked, turning around to look at him.

"Seventeen." He answered simply. _Fuck._ He was a baby.

"And of all places, you wanted to work here?" What the hell was this day turning into? "If you can actually convince your parents to let you live here, I'll be impressed. For all you know I could be a psychopath." There were enough rumors going around to support that.

"Oh my parents will be happy I found work, so no worries there. And I think you're an alright guy. I'll be fine here." He chuckled.

He was only saying that because he didn't know me, he was just some naive and innocent kid. "We'll see how things go . . . but you can quit whenever you want." I said and started walking again.

"I'll never quit." He told me with certainty.

I didn't respond, my doubts growing. This really was a bad idea. I led him into the kitchen and let him look around because I sure as hell didn't know where anything was. I preferred to do things myself, but I didn't know how to cook since I didn't have to know. It was another thing that was always done for me. I fired my maid about three days ago and she was the only one who was ever in here. I was struck with the realization that the last thing I ate was something she made for me. Damn, I hadn't thought of food in all that time. Thinking about food now made me notice how hungry I really was, no wonder I had been feeling off. I was starving.

Boruto wasted no time acquainting himself with the kitchen, getting right to work after washing his hands. It wasn't long before something was smelling really good and my stomach was growling even more. I watched as he moved around quickly, not knowing or caring what he was making. I just needed to eat something.

"Is there anything you don't like?" He asked, glancing back at me over his shoulder as he chopped some vegetables.

"Grapes." Anything else went right down the hatch.

He turned around to face me fully then, looking confused. "But you . . . Well I suppose growing up with grapes everywhere, you must have grown tired of them." His confusion vanished and he smiled before returning to his chopping.

He wasn't wrong, but that wasn't the only reason. I slid my hands into my pockets and tried not to be impatient. "How long will it take you to finish?"

"About fifteen minutes probably." He answered quickly. "You can't rush perfection, but I'm cooking something simple since I know you're really hungry. I'll make a big dinner later too."

"I can wait fifteen minutes." I huffed, but waiting here was going to drive me crazy. "I'll be back. Don't go wandering around."

"I'll be here, cooking." He hummed. "Don't be late."

I rolled my eyes and turned on my heel, leaving the kitchen. It was surreal seeing someone else in there after all these years. I didn't know how to feel about it and I still had no clue what had come over me. Offering a job like that and one that required him to be in the house, it wasn't like me at all. Though I suspected it was because he was so earnest. My gran made it a point to teach me about respecting honest work and I couldn't turn him down when I had a position open. I needed someone here to do the things I couldn't, but the whole situation was concerning.

As innocent as Boruto seemed, I didn't trust him. Three days after I fired my maid and he shows up out of nowhere. It was amazing that he made it in here considering the guards at the gates have direct orders not to let strangers inside without my permission. It wasn't impossible judging from what I had seen of him so far, but still something that no one else had ever accomplished. He was a talker alright. I went to my office and cursed when I realized I didn't have my phone. I couldn't remember where I had left it and had to use the main line instead, checking in with the men at the vineyard.

I searched and located that map as I listened to management carry on, giving short answers every now and then. It was annoying that to this day they made it their mission to get on my good side, but I guessed it was a conditioned habit. My family didn't take kindly to failure. I wrote a quick list of a more detailed description of Boruto's butler position after I ended the call. A part of me thought it was wasted effort since I didn't expect him to last long, his baby ass was taking on more than he could handle. This house was best suited empty, alone with its master.

I walked back to the kitchen with the list and the map marked with what rooms were off limits. Boruto had finished cooking and set the table that the staff used to use when they ate their meals. He didn't know where the dining room was and I had told him to stay put, but my parents would have had a heart attack if they saw me eating there. I smirked at the thought.

"Here." I said as held out the piece of paper to him, my expression returning to normal.

Boruto came over, taking the paper and glancing at it. "Thank you. Please go ahead and eat." He said with a small smile. "But um . . . I got dinner started, while it's sitting I need to go and tell my parents what's up so they don't worry about me. Is that okay?"

I sat down and shook my head. "You're seriously going to walk back my long as fuck drive way and to your house? You've got nothing if not stamina, but fuck that. I'll have someone drive you there and back." I said and then started digging in.

"Oh no, that's okay. I really don't mind." He said almost nervously.

It took me a moment to respond, torn between eating and talking. "No one who works for me has ever walked that drive way and I'm not having you do it twice. I think you've shaken things up enough for one day. Take the ride."

"But . . ." He wanted to argue, but cut himself off with a sigh. "Alright I guess."

"There's no 'I guess', you'll have to get used to how things are done here if you want to stay." I said before I went back to my meal. It was just a car ride anyway, shit. There was no reason to make a big deal out of it.

"I understand." He told me, but he pouted.

Definitely a baby, he needed to put that lip back where it belonged. I made quick work of my food and stood up once I was done. "Thanks for the meal." I said as I reached into my pocket for my phone to call a ride for Boruto. "Damn it, where did I put the damn thing?" I growled, finding my pocket empty.

"What did you lose?" Boruto asked curiously as he started clearing the table. He was taking his job in stride, maybe he wasn't putting on airs when he claimed he would do anything.

"My cell phone." I said and tried to remember when I last had it. I never had it. "I'll call someone to come pick you up."

"Do you want me to help you look?" He asked then, already finished with the table and now at the sink.

"It's lost in the void that is this house." I said, adding it to the number of phones I had long lost and went through this month. "Don't bother with it, I'll use the land line for now."

"Okay. But you should check where you spend most of your time. You probably left it there." He said, washing the dishes without looking back at me.

That was a handful of rooms here and a few other places on the estate, but at this point I wasn't going to put forth the effort. I would just buy another one. I left the kitchen once again and went to the nearest house phone in the sitting room. The call took less than two minutes and I returned to the kitchen to let Boruto know the driver was on his way. I suggested he went home and stayed there to talk with his parents, but he insisted on coming back to finish dinner. I couldn't let the food go to waste and I could eat more, so I didn't press the issue.

I questioned the whole situation of having him here while he was gone and was regretting my decision. This wasn't a place for him, but I couldn't take away the job when he needed one so much for whatever reason. After he realized that being my butler was a horrible idea, I would have to try and find another job for him away from the main house. If he wanted to be rid of me altogether then I could at least put in a good word for him, as much as it was worth. On second thought, perhaps it would benefit him more if I didn't say anything.

I got to work in my office to be productive before the day was over. I had some paperwork I needed to go through and approve, but I was holding off on going to the winery. I didn't want to hear the ass-kissing and I didn't want to check the wine, but I didn't really have a choice. Even the master of the house had a job to do and I was the only one on the estate who claimed that title. It was a little over an hour later when I heard the sound of Boruto's voice.

"Kawaki? Kawakiiiii?"

It was odd for sure, hearing my first name coming from someone's lips. Since I was a child all the staff referred to me as Mr. Kyū or young master. I hated it. Only my family had used my name, but I wanted to change that. The staff was set in their ways, but Boruto was different. He had nothing to do with the past. I got up from my desk and followed his voice until I found him in the library.

"Didn't I give you a map?" I asked with a raised brow.

"There you are!" He beamed at me. "Oh yeah, I was using it," He said, showing me the map. "But it doesn't tell me where you are."

Was that . . . sass? "You brought your things?" I asked as I observed the bag he was carrying. I thought he was coming back to finish dinner and then he would go home to hopefully learn some sense. Was he expecting to get to it without so much as a day to consider it carefully?

"Yep. Dinner is looking good, so I was looking for you to ask where I'll be staying. I didn't want to just take over the couch if that's not what you wanted."

"What the fuck? What kind of person do you take me for, making you sleep on the couch? Idiot." I scoffed. Despite popular opinion, I wouldn't do something like that to anyone. "I don't know why you're so gung ho about this . . ." I muttered. "Follow me."

"Fine. But you really didn't have to insult me. Besides, the couch looked really comfy." He grumbled sulkily as he walked behind me.

And so it begins. "That was an observation, not an insult. Trust me, you don't want me to insult you. I'm not making a kid sleep on the couch, I have more than enough rooms."

"Just because I may not know as much as you doesn't mean I'm an idiot. And what's wrong with sleeping on a couch? . . . That's where I sleep at home. And my couch doesn't look half as nice as yours. Oh and I'm not a kid either!"

It was most certainly sass. "You are a kid for sure with your baby ass. It doesn't matter if you sleep on a couch, but if I have a free bed then you're going to take it." I said as looked over my shoulder. I paused as Boruto stopped, his hand reaching behind himself to feel his ass. _Is this really the person I'm entrusting to cook my meals?_ "What are you doing?" _And he said he wasn't an idiot._

"Trying to figure out why the hell you think I have a baby ass!" He scoffed. "There's nothing babyish about it, so leave it alone."

This wasn't going to work out, not a chance. "Come on, we're almost there." I said and started walking again.

"I'm following." He muttered. "And I think you're the one with the baby ass."

I had never met someone with such a mouth on them. "I believe I told you to follow me, not check out a grown-ass man."

"I am following you. And I only checked out your ass because you were talking about mine. Fair is fair." He huffed.

I rolled my eyes, wondering why I was arguing with a kid. "I'm done with this conversation." I said and opened a door on my left before switching on the light. "We're here."

"Because you know I'm right." He muttered under his breath as he walked past me into the room. "Whoa."

I had a feeling he was going to get on my nerves, but as he looked around the room in amazement, I didn't care so much if he was sassy. "You're free to move things around as you see fit, the room is yours now."

"Kawaki . . . This room is huge!" He gasped in a delayed reaction. "Shouldn't I have a smaller room?" He then asked, turning to look at me in uncertainty.

"No."

"I don't know how I feel about this, but okay." He sighed and set his bag down on the floor by the bed. "I'll go finish dinner for you now."

I nodded and closed the door behind us after we went into the hall. "I'll be in the library since you already know where that is."

"Really? What are you going to do in there? You have a lot of books, huh?" He smiled at me as we walked down the hallway back the way we came.

"I still haven't managed to read all of them." I commented, agreeing on the fact. "But I'm pretty close. You're welcome to read whatever you want after you finish your work."

"Thank you. Though that may be a while considering how big this place is and I haven't even started cleaning yet." He mused, seeming happy even if he did expect a lot of work.

He was a hard person for me to understand. "Well don't go on a cleaning spree tonight. If you insist on starting so soon then at least wait until tomorrow. I don't want you running around while I'm trying to sleep." I was used to silence and I would already be tossing and turning knowing someone else was here.

"I won't disturb you, promise." He told me, still looking as happy as he could have. "Where is your room on the map by the way?"

"On the third floor, it's the only room." I had it built when the house needed repairs. I wanted a fresh space free of memories, it was the only place I could sleep.

"Oh my. It must be even bigger than my room!" He said, impressed. "I'll clean it for you tomorrow. I plan to do most everything else tonight. But I won't do anything loud."

I took it back, I very much cared that he was sassy. "No means no, don't think I won't send your ass packing." I didn't think I could, but he didn't need to know that.

He looked at me with a frown. "I just want to do a good job and make you happy."

I faltered for a moment at his words. "That wasn't part of the job description, you don't need to make me happy." The most I could be was content and that was on a good day. We reached the library and I paused at the door. "Make sure you're cooking enough for yourself as well. You can't do a good job on an empty stomach."

"I know." He laughed. "I did make enough but I was still going to ask if I could eat. I didn't know if it was improper or anything."

It was, but I didn't give a flying fuck. "If you want to join me then do it, if not then don't. I'm not exactly proper myself." Not anymore.

"Hm." He hummed, cerulean eyes trailing down my body. "You look so proper though."

_Me? Proper? With these piercings?_ And he didn't even know about my tattoos. "You know what they say, looks can be deceiving. I'll see you at dinner."

"Okay, Kawaki. I'll let you know when it's ready." He smiled again before hurrying off.

I went into the library to read, Boruto's smile on my mind. True to his word he came to get me when dinner was done and we ate together in the kitchen. It might have been only three days, but it was weird not having Nami here. I mentally scolded myself for using her name, I had to think of her as just a maid. I needed to distance myself from her or else she would haunt me in my dreams too. I had enough keeping me up at night.

After dinner, we said goodnight and I went to my bedroom. I was quick to get out of my clothes and throw them in the pile in the corner. Then I flopped down on my bed and ignored the sound of something hitting the floor. Exhaustion hit me like it always did, but I wasn't naive enough to hope for sleep. I would be up for at least another few hours. The house was as silent as ever, but the weight of Boruto's presence was impossible to miss.

I didn't know how to feel about it and once again I thought over my decision. This house would taint him just like it did to anyone that lived here. I didn't want to see that happen to him, anyone but that innocent kid. In the end, I tossed and turned as I expected, but like always sleep eventually came. The sun came shining in through the curtains and I made a mental note to remember to close the damn things all the way. Morning came too quickly, it needed to take a day off or something. I rolled over in bed and buried my face in my pillows.

My door opened without so much as a knock and Boruto padded over to me. He set something on the bedside table before laying his hand on my forehead and combing his fingers back through my hair. _What the fuck?_

"Good morning. I made breakfast." He told me cheekily. "Oh, and found your phone."

"The hell you found my phone." I mumbled into a pillow. For my own sake, I didn't address his casual touching.

"I did!" He giggled and moved back for a second before setting something else on the table. "It's off, you should keep it that way for a while. After you eat, you should try to sleep more. You seem tired."

I turned my head to look at him but soon looked away. He was too bright for me this early in the day. My gaze fell to the table where a tray of food was sitting . . . along with my phone.

"Where in the world, no, where in this house did you find that piece of shit?"

"It was right here in your room, silly." He laughed and walked over to the windows. "Whoa, you can see the whole vineyard from here! I guess the light must bother you when you're trying to sleep though, huh?" He looked for a few more seconds before drawing the curtains and turning back to me. "I'll open them when I come clean later. You're gonna eat, right?"

I sat up and rubbed my face, knowing I couldn't go back to sleep if I tried. "Yeah, I'll eat. But seriously, where did you find it? There was no way it was in here and I didn't see it."

When Boruto didn't respond, I looked over to find him admiring my naked torso. "Didn't we talk about checking out grown ass men?" I asked with a smirk.

"I don't see the problem." He mumbled, cheeks darkening as he continued to look me over.

Oh? . . . _Oh._ "Avert your innocent eyes right this second." I ordered.

"I don't wanna."

I pulled the cover up and narrowed my eyes at him. "I will put you in time out."

"Like how?" He blinked at me as he walked closer and sat on the foot of my bed.

"Stop that. All of that." I said, unsure how to handle this situation.

"All of what?" He asked, tilting his head curiously as he scooted a bit closer.

He was trying to get me arrested. "Go do something, anything, but not in this room." I couldn't believe I was being cornered by a baby.

"But there's nothing to do. I already cleaned everything else." He grinned at me and moved a tad closer. "I may have been up all night."

It took everything in me not to kick him off the bed. "I thought I told you no."

"Oh . . . I forgot." He laughed, eyes dropping from mine to my chest once more.

"Will you get out of here already? Go get some sleep then." I said and nudged him with my foot. Maybe I should kick him after all.

"Can I just stay in here?" He asked hopefully. "I'm lonely."

The snappy rejection died on my tongue. He was a social guy from what I could see and moved away from his family and friends to work for me, I was all he had in this house and no one else would dare to come up here.

I sighed, unable to accept that I was allowing this. "Fine. But get out so I can get decent first."

"Shame." He sighed as well, but got up and walked out of the room for me to get dressed.

Just who had I hired to be my butler? I shook my head and threw the covers off before standing. I put on a pair of boxers and hesitated to put on more, I wasn't about to wrinkle my clothes. In the end, I got back into bed and threw the covers back on, staying in just my boxers. I reached over and put the food tray over my lap as I told Boruto he could come back in.

Boruto came in and quickly got in the bed beside me. "I don't see any difference." He commented as he got under the covers and scooted closer to my side.

I was utterly baffled by how he assumed this was okay, that he could do whatever he wanted. "You're a fucking enigma." How could he warm up to me of all people so quickly? Was this just his personality? "You're not put off by me. At all." It wasn't normal and surely he had heard the rumors.

"Put off? No . . . It's the opposite." He admitted quietly.

"I don't see why." I muttered and was about to dig in when a light bulb went off in my mind. "You better not be having indecent thoughts, I will kick your baby ass out of this bed."

"Please don't." He whined, shimmying closer.

Definitely trying to get my ass arrested. "I'm going to eat my breakfast and you're going to keep your hands to yourself." I said before starting to eat. What was wrong with me? Why was I letting him do as he pleased?

"Until you finish right?" He asked curiously.

I almost choked. "I am eight years older than you and your employer. We're not having this conversation." How did we even get to this conversation? "Please direct your hormones elsewhere."

"I just thought we would sleep better if we held each other." He pouted.

As if I believed that, perhaps this was some attempt to get me caught up in a scandal. "I don't understand your need to be close to me. We met only yesterday."

"I don't know. I can't help it."

Maybe he was starved of affection, though he had seen his family last night. I couldn't make sense of his nonsense. "We're not sharing a bed."

"You're going to make me leave?" He whined. "Please don't. I can't deal with that huge bed all by myself. Too lonely. I promise I'll be good."

I hated how I sympathized. It was getting harder to tell him no already, damn it. "Fine, alright, just stop begging me."

"Okay." He whispered.

Nothing else was said on the matter and I was able to eat my breakfast in peace. I failed to notice that Boruto's silence was because he had fallen asleep in the time it took me to finish my meal. I put the tray back on the bedside table and was about to get up when an arm snaked around my waist, snapping my attention back to the blond. For a second I thought he was faking, but his breaths were even and he looked worn out. He should be after cleaning this whole house in one night, I had never seen work ethic like that before.

As I gazed down at his sleeping face, I found I couldn't pull away. _What the hell are you doing, Kawaki?_ This kid was rushing into my life without any brakes. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with him, but I knew it wouldn't be for long. He would wear down with time and realize that working here was a mistake. I settled down beside him, feeling out of place in my own bed with someone next to me. I had planned to indulge him for a little while and then get to work, but as he snuggled closer sleep claimed me like never before. Now that he was here, I could sleep.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading Light of my Life! **

**Please leave a review and let us know what you think!**

**(Collab with Kaname84)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Light of My Life**

**Chapter Two**

**.**

When I woke up, I was halfway on top of Kawaki and holding onto him as if I had every right in the world. My face heated at my actions, but I didn't pull away immediately. I didn't know why, but I wanted to be close to him, I wanted him to want to be close to me. His house was truly a mansion, seemingly endless and nobody was here but him. Me too _now,_ but I just knew he had to be lonely.

I was lonely too, I hadn't lied about that. Yes it hadn't been long, but I was used to the two bedroom apartment I lived in with my family. They were a loud and silly bunch, the four of us were very close and it did hurt to have to move so far away from them, not knowing when I'd see them again. But, my family was poor. I had to help support them in any way I could. My little sister was too young to find work yet and my dad had been doing all he could, along with my mom, but it was never enough.

Some days we went hungry and even when we had food, we went without important things all the time. I didn't know how much money I would make working for Kawaki, but whatever I made, I would take it to my family. As long as he was feeding me, I didn't need money for anything else. I had no bills here, but my family needed the help. Even a small amount would leave them grateful.

I missed them. It was so quiet here and even though Kawaki would talk to me, I didn't think he liked it. His family had a reputation and most people were afraid of him, not me though. I was never one to believe what I heard unless I knew it was a fact myself and I could see that Kawaki was a good man. Irritable, yes. But nonetheless a good man.

He was also the best looking guy I'd ever laid my eyes on. I never saw someone dress so proper just to be at home, but I liked it. He carried himself like a true man of wealth and power, as he should, but sometimes it slipped. He told me to call him by his first name, he ate dinner with me, he argued with me even when he could have just fired me. I smiled at how fun it was, having such a unique experience.

The only downside was my attraction to him, sure I'd tease him a bit, because I could. But it wasn't like he would ever want a _kid _like me. He was constantly calling me a baby and pointing out that he was older than me and he got so mad when I did get a little suggestive. Not that I could help it, I mean the guy was gorgeous and when I saw his naked torso—with all that muscle and those tattoos—goodness I didn't think I'd survive.

But I did—and here I was, smirking like the devil himself at being so close to that hard body now. He smelled so good and he was so warm, the heat much welcome considering how chilly his house was. It was summer now, and in my house we didn't have more than a couple fans to cool us down, so the heat was what I was used to. It was freezing here, making me wish I could be even closer to him.

I did brazenly move my leg over his, knowing full well he wasn't wearing anything more than his underwear. I'd always been attracted to guys, finding out at a young age that I was gay, but I'd never actually been in a relationship or anything. Still, that didn't mean I couldn't enjoy a moment such as this one. Kawaki was breathtakingly gorgeous, all of him, and I was going to appreciate it for as long as I could. He didn't want a _baby _like me anyway, even if he was gay too. I heard that he was, but that didn't mean it was true. It didn't matter either way, he was my employer and I was just a poor guy. There was nothing someone like me could offer him that he would want.

Even if that was true, I still wanted to make him like me. I wanted to work hard and make him happy, I wanted to be his friend as well as his butler. I would do anything he needed me to do and I would always do my best. It had to be getting late, but Kawaki was still sleeping soundly and I knew he must not have gotten any rest last night, much like me. I had a job to do though and as much as I wanted to lay with him and soak up this closeness, I couldn't neglect my duties.

Carefully, I got up, managing not to wake him. I wandered downstairs to my own room where I had a shower and dressed in a pair of my favorite khaki shorts and a T-shirt, making my way to the kitchen. The place was so expansive it took a while to get from one room to the next, but eventually I made it and checked the roast I'd started in the early hours of the morning. It smelled and looked great, already done and right on time because it was already early evening.

I made some homemade biscuits to go with it and realized I would have to go grocery shopping for Kawaki soon. Tomorrow, probably. After I set the hot, fresh biscuits on the table in a large bowl, I fixed Kawaki's plate and carried it to the table. I didn't want to disturb his sleep, but he really needed to eat now. So, I went to leave the kitchen to go wake him, only to find him on his way over.

Once again he was dressed impeccably, wearing grey slacks and a black button up, though no vest this time. His hair was still damp from a shower and he smelled divine. He looked so good that I couldn't stop myself from admiring him, stepping aside so he could come into the kitchen.

"I was just about to go get you. Yours is ready there." I said, pointing to the table as if he couldn't see it. "What would you like to drink?"

He asked for water and I quickly got him a glass, only joining him for dinner when he told me to. We were quiet as we ate and afterwards, Kawaki told me he was going to his office and I cleaned the kitchen before going up to his room. It wasn't a mess, but it needed to be dusted and he had a pile of laundry that needed washing. I opened the curtains and took a moment to appreciate the long rows of grapevines, almost ready to be harvested. It was beautiful. I wanted one of those grapes—or a few handfuls.

I knew Kawaki's family business was this. They made their own wine and it was very popular and sold in several countries. It was impressive and I knew it must be good, but I'd never had alcohol before. I still wanted to try it though and if I found any, I would. I got to work, starting with the clothes before doing the dusting and sweeping. In an hours time, I'd come across a dozen cell phones in his room, which confused me. Why did one person need so many phones?

He lived a different life, one I couldn't understand, but I didn't bother questioning it any longer. I just opened the drawer of his bedside table and placed all of the cell phones I found there. I could see that he had trouble keeping up with the things, but I was here to help him now. I cleaned his bathroom too and while I was going through drawers to put away his laundry in all the right places, I found one in particular that opened up and was filled with wine. _His wine. _

"Oh, wow!" I giggled as I picked up a bottle. A lot was gone, telling me it had been opened and I really, really wanted a taste.

I should ask permission, but I was fairly certain if I did Kawaki wouldn't allow it. I wasn't of drinking age, but I thought that was stupid. _One swallow couldn't hurt. He won't ever know. _

Against my better judgement, I worked the cork out of the bottle and raised it to my lips. It was sweet and fruity, so tasty that I had several more gulps before putting it away. _Amazing. _It was no wonder people were so crazy over it. I wanted more, but I didn't want to get in trouble. I was glad I'd put it away when I did because by the time I finished putting the clothes away, my face got hot and I started feeling a little fuzzy.

"Whoa." I raised my hands to my burning cheeks and sat down for a moment, surprised at feeling a little intoxication for the first time. I didn't know if it was that strong or if I'd drank it too fast, but it definitely hit me.

_I liked it. _It was funny, so much that I laughed to myself for a while before deciding to have a little more. That was a mistake. I ended up drinking half of what was left in the bottle and then falling back on Kawaki's bed, grinning to myself at this strange sensation. It was no wonder people liked to drink, I loved it. Kawaki's wine was delicious and it made me feel so good.

It did make me hot though, really hot. I wanted to strip my shirt, but got no further than lifting it up a bit to try and feel some air on my skin. I was heavy and tingly, still grinning from ear to ear as I savored the feel of it. I couldn't move, and I didn't want to, so I was glad I'd finished my work for the day—unless Kawaki needed anything. I hoped he didn't because I wasn't sure how much I could do while feeling like I did now.

I played with my hair absentmindedly as I thought about how crazy it was to feel like this. It was nothing like I'd ever experienced before, but I wanted to experience it again sometime. I almost didn't want it to pass and I was still playing with my hair and giggling when Kawaki walked into his room.

"Kawakiiiii." I giggled, staring up at him when he came to stand by the bed. "Hey." He was so beautiful, even though for some reason he didn't look happy. "Where've you been?" I asked as I struggled into a sitting position and wrapped my arms around his tall legs, my cheek resting against waistline. "Missed you."

"You're drunk." He stated evenly, fisting his hand in my hair to pull my head back. "You're _fucking_ drunk."

"Me?" I blinked up at him, trying to sound innocent but I think my endless laughing was working against me.

"I can't believe you, where did you even get-" He cut himself off as he spotted the bottle. "Shit, I forgot that was in here. Damn it, Boruto, I should kick your baby ass."

"You wouldn't!" I gasped before giggling again. "You were gone long time. Where'd you go?"

Kawaki scowled down at me. "Don't change the subject. Who do you think you are, touching alcohol? Thought you could just help yourself, huh?"

"I always wanted to try and had to 'preciate your hard work. Wow it was so good. You work so hard. I want more."

"The fuck you do, not in this house." He snapped. "Unacceptable, this is completely unacceptable. You touch another drop of alcohol again and see what happens. I dare you."

"Hey," I whined. "Don't be so mean. It was real good and I feel real good so what's the problem here?"

He stepped away and out of my hold. "I don't want you drinking, end of story."

"You're not the boss of me!" I scoffed and fell back on the bed again, laughing. "Oh wait . . . You kinda are."

A sigh fell from his lips and he leaned over to confiscate the bottle. "Idiot."

"Hey!" I frowned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down on me. "I'm not an idiot. Stop being mean."

He tried to move, but I wrapped my legs around him. "A clingy drunk, let go of me."

"Uh uh. You smell good." I think I'd like to keep him.

"And you smell like wine." He shot back. "Seriously, let go. You're wrinkling my clothes."

"Can I drink more?" I asked, grinning.

He narrowed his silver eyes at me. "Do you want me to drop you in a tub full of ice cold water?"

"No. Just hold me." I sighed. He was really pretty.

Kawaki groaned, but let his body relax. "You're awful."

"You don't mean that." I giggled, enjoying the feel of his weight on me maybe a little too much. "I'm awesome."

He rested his chin in his hand as he looked down at me. "Yeah? Says who?"

"Me, duh." I snickered. "You agree though, right?"

"No." He smirked and pinched my cheek with his other hand.

"Don't lie." I smiled. "Hey, you know what?" I asked as I moved one of my hands to his hair, it was softer than I had first expected and I really liked the style of it. Much cleaner than my mess. I started playing with it while I could and was glad he didn't make me stop. "Kawaki?" I prompted when he didn't say anything, his eyes having closed for the moment. "Don't go to sleep, it's too early."

His expression turned curious with a hint of amusement. "What?"

"I really like your wine. And your hair. And you." I grinned.

He opened his eyes, studying my face intensely. "You're drunk . . . and you don't know me."

"I'm just fuzzy. I'm happy and you're so beautiful and nice. I like you a lot. I wanna drink your wine with you and play with your hair all night."

"What the hell are you going on about?" He chuckled. "Nice try, but I'm still not letting you drink."

"Aw. But it would be lots of fun to do it together." I sighed happily as I continued to play with his hair, slowly scraping my fingers through it. "You should have some and you'll feel good too."

Kawaki let his head fall to rest in my neck and closed his eyes again. "Tasting wine all the time has kind of ruined it for me." He admitted. "Keep doing that."

"You don't like to drink then?" I frowned, making sure to keep playing with his hair like I was. He liked it. So did I.

"I prefer beer nowadays."

"Ooh, can I try that?" I asked hopefully, forcing my hand to remain slow. "It sounds good. Let's have some."

He clicked his tongue. "Do you listen when I speak? You're not drinking shit."

"Shh. Okay. I won't drink no more." I told him soothingly, not wanting him to get worked up. Though I was only talking about for now. I continued to play with his hair, my other hand starting to rub his back gently, my fingertips slowly ghosting over the thin fabric of his shirt.

"I'll hold you to that, drunk or not." He informed, words coming out slower than before.

"I don't need more right now so I won't try to get more." I promised, wishing he would take off his shirt. "You could drink some though, but then you would have to get up."

He hummed, low voice rumbling. "Fuck that."

"Yeah." I giggled. "Fuck that." I agreed completely, not wanting him to leave me—or willing to let him. I liked touching him and I really liked that he liked it. "But don't fall asleep."

"Too late." He mumbled against my neck, his breath making me shudder.

"N-no. Stay awake."

He didn't respond and the silence started to drag out. I couldn't believe he fell asleep and I was having fun talking to him. I pouted about it, but still played with his hair and rubbed his back, sometimes tickling it with my fingers and other times using a firmer touch with my hand. He was kind of heavy, but I liked it a lot. And he smelled so good I couldn't get over it, but his soft breathing at my neck was bothersome and his lips were too close to my skin. _Not close enough. _

My body couldn't help but react to the position I was in, with his weight pressing down on me like this. I'd never been this close to anyone and didn't know I would like it so much, but I did. The more I touched him and the longer we were like this, the more sensitive I became to the situation and before long, I wasn't able to ignore the fact that I was aroused.

"Oh no." I whispered, thanking the heavens that he was asleep. I was getting hard and I couldn't stop it. My hips shifted under him, the movement making me gasp quietly. _Oh no. _

Kawaki's hand went to my waist, holding me still. "Don't."

_Oh nooo! _He was awake? No, I just imagined that. I swallowed hard, unable to help how my body felt. I'd never felt like this. Ever. My erection was sandwiched between us, the pressure feeling better than it should have. But it was strange and I didn't know what to do. I could only whimper in my current state.

"You're a fucking handful."

Definitely awake. "I'm sorry." I whispered, blushing. "I didn't mean to."

"Yeah, I know. Hormones and all that." He muttered and raised his head. "I'll get off of you."

"I don't want you to." I whined, already sad that he moved his head.

He huffed and shook his head. "Stop making that face. You'll live and you should go take care of your little problem down there."

_Little? _I scowled at him then and let him go. I couldn't even look at him anymore. He was so mean. He got off of me and the bed, straightening his clothes. I sat up, feeling the alcohol even more from the movement. I frowned as I laid my hands over my crotch, face burning. It was all his fault and then . . . Then he treats me like I'm nothing. I should have expected it. He thinks I'm a baby. And little. My feelings were definitely hurt and I got to my feet with a slight struggle, leaving his room as quickly as I could. I never wanted to see him again after this.

When I made it to my room, I went inside and laid on my bed, refusing to ignore my _little _problem. It would go away on its own eventually and I was so mad that all I wanted to do was fall asleep. I laid there in bed until I eventually grew tired and passed out, sleeping hard throughout the night.

The next morning I woke up feeling a bit depressed. How could I not after what happened? I was humiliated and still angry about how he reacted to me. Of course I wasn't good enough for him. I knew that, but still. He didn't need to be so mean to me. If that's how he wanted it, that's how I'd be too. Though I'd still do my job.

After a shower, I went down to the kitchen and started cooking. I really didn't want to see Kawaki at all, but I still carried the tray up to his room and inside. I couldn't tell if he was asleep or not and I didn't care. He could just eat whenever he woke up. I set the tray on the table next to him and left his room.

I went back downstairs, put a cleaning apron on and got to cleaning. I did a lot of sweeping and mopping, making sure to get every inch of every room I worked on. When lunch time came I stopped and washed my hands, making Kawaki a sub sandwich and leaving it in the fridge. I wanted to make soup for dinner, so I got that started, letting it cook slowly while I returned to cleaning.

I'd managed to clean a lot and found the dining room. That was probably where Kawaki was meant to eat, but I honestly didn't care where he ate. I was pouting all day and couldn't help it. Maybe I was just not used to being around someone I was so attracted to and he was a little hard to read and I just couldn't control myself. I needed to take a step back and I felt like I could after the incident last night.

By dinner time, I hadn't seen Kawaki. I finished the food and figured I needed to let him know if he was going to steer clear of me. I needed my job so I didn't want him to fire me over what happened, and I could be professional.

Just as I decided to find him, I heard what sounded like a piano coming from somewhere in the house. I followed the sound as it grew louder and eventually came to a room that I had yet to discover. It was Kawaki, he was playing the piano, very well I might add. I was impressed, but still upset so I wouldn't allow myself to stand and watch him. I walked over, not really wanting to disturb him, but wanting to let him know what I'd been searching for him for.

"Dinner is ready. I set your place in the dining room." I told him simply before walking away.

It was best if I just gave him his space. I'd really wanted some soup but didn't manage more than half a bowl before I was full. I just didn't have an appetite. Once I cleaned everything, I removed my apron and decided to walk around outside for a bit. Kawaki's land was not only expansive, but well kept. It was impressive.

I walked around the entire mansion, taking in the beautiful garden in the back. I spent a while wandering through it, admiring all the flowers there. I didn't know I had a favorite flower until I found some in particular. They were a pale purple but I wasn't sure what type of flower they were. They were really beautiful and I wanted to pick one for myself but I couldn't. I really didn't want anything of Kawaki's, even if he had so much that I admired.

I trailed through the garden and then to the right side of the lawn, finding a large barn in the distance. In my curiosity, I wandered over there and entered the slightly ajar door. There were horses everywhere and they were all so pretty. I'd seen plenty of them in my life, but I'd never ridden one or even been able to touch one. They were so big and a bit intimidating since I knew nothing about them, but I still smiled as I walked through the stables, checking each one out.

The sun was already in the process of setting and I knew it wouldn't be long before it was completely dark and that I should probably get back inside, but I didn't want to so after I left the stables, I started walking towards the driveway, the clearest path through the grapevines. They were beautiful and loaded with grapes. It smelled good walking through them and something about being out of that house relaxed me. I just needed to get away for a bit.

After walking for a while, I heard something through the vines to my left and stopped walking to investigate. I gasped when I found a horse on the next row, a guy riding it while checking out the grapes. The horse reacted to seeing me and the guy turned to look at me. He had to be around my age and he looked surprised to see me, but not unhappy.

"Who are you?" He asked curiously. His black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and he looked like a nice guy.

"Boruto. The butler." I answered honestly and he looked me over in disbelief but shrugged after mentally debating something.

"I'm Shikadai. Got this job thanks to my old man who's been working here since he was a kid."

"I got mine because I begged for it." I laughed and he joined in.

"You're funny. We should be friends." He suggested with a smile that I returned while nodding.

"Yeah, we should!" I loved making new friends, especially since I didn't have that many of them outside of my family.

"Wanna come with me to return the horse?" He asked, already offering his hand.

I opened my mouth to protest, feeling anxious because I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted the experience at least once, so I accepted his hand and got on the horse with his help. It was so tall, making me feel as if I was no top of the world. It was also a little scary and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his waist to hold on.

"Don't let me fall!" I begged, staring ahead instead of down as we started moving.

Shikadai chuckled and patted my hands that were locked together in front of his stomach. "Don't worry, Boruto. I got you."

"Thanks." I laughed and held on a little tighter as we moved along. We weren't very far from the stables, but Shikadai kept it slow. That way I didn't get scared and it wasn't over too soon. We didn't get off until we were inside the stables and then he got off first, helping me down next. "That was amazing!" I beamed at him and he laughed lightly.

"Yeah, but I guess I'm pretty used to it." He told me as he led the horse into an open stall and rubbed its nose. "You probably shouldn't be out this late, should you?"

"Probably not. Should you?" I turned his question back to him and we both laughed. "Do you live far from here?"

"In the staff house, it's further down the estate. It's between the main house and the barn here." He explained.

"Oh, cool. Can I walk with you so I can see it?" I asked excitedly as he closed the stall and came to stand beside me.

He nodded and tilted his head towards the exit. "Sure thing, let's go."

"Alright." I grinned and the two of us left the barn. I waited while Shikadai locked it up and then we went on our way. It felt good outside and for now at least, I had completely forgotten about my Kawaki issue. "Have you been living here long? I didn't even know there was a staff house. Or if I did, I forgot." I admitted with another laugh.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's alright, remembering every detail about this place is near impossible unless you've been here for years. I actually grew up here, this was my dad's first and only job. He's basically a pro."

"Whoa, that's so cool! He must know everything about this place. And it's great that you both get to work together, huh?" I was happy to have made a friend and have somebody to talk to and I hoped we could see each other again soon. It wasn't long at all before the house came into view and I was amazed at how big it was. "It's so big! Looks nice, Shikadai!"

"Home sweet home. You're welcome any time, as both a friend and a fellow staff member." He smiled. "We'd be glad to have you."

"Wow, you're so sweet. Thanks a lot. Maybe I can visit sometime." I told him as we walked closer, but I knew I needed to get back. It wasn't like Kawaki would be looking for me or anything, but I did have to finish cleaning the dining room, assuming he'd finished his food. "I hope to see you again soon." I smiled happily at him.

"Bye, Boruto." Shikadai waved. "Don't be a stranger."

"Don't worry, I won't! Bye." I waved back, laughing as I went on my way back to the main house.

I walked inside, grinning to myself at the fact that I'd managed to make a new friend. I felt a million times better now and was whistling on my way to the dining room. Kawaki had eaten everything I left for him and I was glad at least somebody had an appetite around here. It didn't take me long to finish the dishes and have everything cleaned up. I took some sausages out of the freezer to cook for breakfast and then started on my way to my huge, lonesome room.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kawaki asked from behind me.

I stopped abruptly and turned around to face him, startled by him sneaking up on me like that. "Outside." I answered quickly, hoping my fright didn't give way on my face.

"This is not the time for you to get sassy. Your free time is your own and I don't care if you explore, but staying out past dark is forbidden." He stated firmly. "It's not as safe as you may think and while you're here, you are my responsibility."

"Relax. It's totally safe out there. I made a new friend and he even let me ride a horse with him!" I told him, my excitement still bubbling. "I had a great time and I did hurry back."

"Well it wasn't fast enough." He huffed. "I'm glad you had fun, but be back before nightfall. This isn't up for discussion."

"So as long as my chores are done I can be outside as much as I want?" I asked, wanting to clarify.

His jaw tightened. "Yes."

"Okay . . . You don't sound too sure but I'm not gonna argue. Would you be needing anything else, _sir_?"

"No." He said flatly.

"Goodnight then." I muttered, turning on my heel with no intention to drag this conversation on any longer.

Kawaki let me go without another word and I went to my room, wondering why I ever thought he and I could be friends. He wasn't like me. He didn't like me. He just needed me to do my job and that was it. That's all I was going to do.

I was sad about it though. In the days that passed, I found myself feeling lonelier and sadder. I was almost always alone since I was avoiding Kawaki as much as possible and I had been busy enough not to be able to find Shikadai again. Kawaki and I hadn't had an actual conversation since he scolded me about curfew, but today I had to ask him about grocery shopping. I would have just gone on my own if I had the money to do so, but I couldn't because I didn't.

He was in his office when I found him and I wanted to make things quick so I wouldn't disturb him. "Could I have a moment, sir?" I began, looking at the wall instead of him.

"What do you need?" He inquired.

"Groceries." I muttered, wishing this awkwardness was over. Every time I was around him, all I could think about was that night I'd drank his wine and everything changed.

He rustled around in a desk drawer for a moment before holding out a black credit card. "Take this." He said and then added, "And this, your paycheck." He held up a white envelope as well that was sitting on the desktop.

"Thanks." I accepted them both. "Your lunch is in the fridge and dinner is on low on the stove. I'll be back."

"Alright." He said.

Knowing it was going to take me quite a while to get everything done, I hurried on my way. It took me two hours to walk home to my parents' house, where the first one to tackle me was Himawari, my younger sister.

"Boruto! I missed you so much!" She exclaimed as she hugged me tight and I laughed, returning the embrace.

"I missed you too. Kinda in a hurry though, I wish I could stay a while but I'm still working."

"Boruto?" Mom's voice rang from the kitchen and I went to her, Himawari tagging along.

"Hey, mom." I smiled and hugged her tight before digging my check out of my pocket. I opened it to find that I'd made a lot more than I expected and I was really happy as I handed it over to my mom. "I just came to drop this off, I'm still on the clock."

"Thank you, Boruto. You're such a good boy." She praised me without even looking at the check.

"I just want to do my part. I love you guys. Will you tell dad, I love him?"

"Of course, Boruto."

It was difficult leaving my family, but it was for the best. Saying goodbye was the worst, but I managed. The walk to the grocery store was another half an hour and by the time I finished shopping and made it back to Kawaki's driveway, I was exhausted.

I bought as much as I could carry and had struggled for another two hours, walking. My pace had slowed and I was saddened when I came across Shikadai in the vineyard on my way through. I didn't have time to spend with him now and the sun was setting. Kawaki would be upset with me for being gone so long, I was certain.

"Let me help you, I'm finished here." Shikadai offered with a smile and I couldn't turn him down—too grateful for the help.

"Thank you."

We chatted a bit on the walk down the long driveway. He was a really considerate guy and come to find out, we were the same age. I thanked him again once we reached the main house and I accepted the bags he carried for me.

Once we told each other goodnight, I quickly went inside and straight to the kitchen to put everything away. I still had to clean up from dinner and I was a sweaty mess so I couldn't wait to have a shower.

"You walked again, didn't you?" Kawaki asked from behind me and I wished he would stop doing that.

I was in the middle of washing dishes and dropped the plate in my hand, but luckily the water saved it. "What else was I supposed to do?" I asked, considering I didn't have access to his driver, and I really didn't care to use the transportation anyway.

"Tell me you need a ride. Walking all that way is unnecessary and it pisses me off." He grumbled. "Don't make things harder on yourself for no reason."

He didn't offer me a ride though and I sure wasn't going to request one. "It's fine. I'm back." I sighed as I returned to my work.

"It's not '_fine'_." He inisited. "Just take the damn ride."

I glared at the dish in my hands. "You didn't offer me a damn ride!" I blurted it out angrily and then mentally scolded myself.

"Well shit, I'm not a mind reader. You should have asked." He scoffed.

"Not a mind reader?" I snapped, scrubbing the plate in my hand much more thoroughly than needed. "You knew I was going for groceries, should I have spelled it out for you?"

Kawaki groaned in frustration. "You're coming at me because you were too stubborn to ask? Try again."

_Not a chance. _"I was perfectly fine with walking anyway so just let it go."

"You want to walk out of spite so just take the ride." He shot back.

"You know . . . I already walked. I didn't take the ride. I'm not going anywhere else, so drop it." I told him as I finally rinsed the last of the dishes, all too eager to escape him.

I could feel his eyes glaring at the back of my head. "And the next time you have to get groceries? What then? Dropping it doesn't get rid of the problem, you're only putting it off."

"Okay." I mumbled, feeling a bit lightheaded, probably from getting too worked up. Or skipping meals maybe. I dried my hands and took a deep breath to steady myself. "I'll go to bed now, if you won't be needing anything else."

"Not at all."

"Goodnight then." I muttered as I trudged past him, barely making it to my room and not able to take a shower.

I felt so bad all I could do was collapse on my bed and pass out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Light of My Life**

**Chapter Three**

**.**

Whatever was forming between Boruto and I since we first met wasn't something I could allow. He fucked with my head, making me say and do things I had never done before. He got too close too quickly and had glimpsed a side of me I thought had died a long time ago. I nipped it in the bud, I killed it as quickly as possible with a skill I had tried so hard not to inherit. I was cruel. I was purposely cruel to the kid, trying to hurt him enough to push him away.

I was good at it, it worked, and I hated myself for it. A cold and rigid distance formed between us and I wished that he would just quit. It was hell having him there, making me want to reach out to save what could have been. We fought over meaningless shit and he pissed me off like no one ever could. I was angry because I didn't want to care, but I did. I tried not to care, but I worried. I was in an internal conflict about staying away from him and keeping him near.

I wanted to treat him right without gaining any affection from him, but things didn't work like that. I tried to maintain the barrier between us while still treating him right, but that didn't work either. He wanted what I wouldn't give him and he refused to take what he needed from someone who rejected him. There was no fucking balance and it ended in an agrument or a cold dismissal every time we spoke.

I wanted him to leave so it would all be over, but I wanted to look out for him while he was here. Even I was confused by my own feelings and it did nothing but add to my frustration. His stubborn baby ass didn't know, he didn't know shit. Not about this land, this house and certainly not about me. He couldn't understand why I did the things that I did and that wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve any of this and I could only hope his hate for me would grow and grow until he finally left. Then he would be free and I would go back to simply existing, that was the way it should be.

However, our latest argument over him getting groceries shook my perspective. I suspected he would walk up and down the long driveway as much as he pleased, doing it because he knew I didn't like it. Doing it because he didn't want my help. He wanted to make me angry, to prove his point, though I didn't know what that was. His goal was to affect me and he did, but not in the way he thought. Of course it pissed me off, but it also hurt. It hurt more than it should have.

When he hadn't prepared breakfast I figured he was rebelling, testing how far he could push me and then push me further. I got on with my day, but was irritated when he didn't prepare lunch as well. He hadn't shown up once and despite trying to stay away from each other, going to this extent wasn't normal. I traveled up to the second floor to his room after looking in the empty kitchen. There wasn't an answer the first or second time I knocked and if the door would have been locked then I would have written it off as him being upset, but the door gave way when I turned the handle.

Boruto was lying on his bed wearing the same clothes from yesterday. I frowned as I crossed the floor quickly to the side of the bed. He was asleep, but he was sweating a lot and looked pained. I brought my hand to his forehead, cursing at the feel of his hot skin. How long had he been like this? And why did it take me so long to come check on him? I unfastened my cuffs and rolled up my sleeves as I hurried to the bathroom. Then I filled the tub with lukewarm water, hoping it would help with his fever.

When I returned to his bedside I tried waking him, but he didn't respond and his heavy breathing was shooting my nerves through the roof. I had no other choice and ended up carrying him to the tub, doing my best not to look as I stripped him down. I gently laid him in the water and kept my hand under his head so he wouldn't go under. He didn't seem to register the water at all and I felt like it wasn't doing shit. I reached for a wash cloth hanging from the towel rack and wiped his face after wetting it a little.

The furrow between his brows lessened a bit, but his remaining discomfort was apparent. I washed the sweat from his skin without getting too handsy to preserve his dignity as much as I could. Next I lowered his head enough to wash his hair, noting how easily the blond locks slipped through my fingers. Guilt was building up in the pit of my stomach, but I shoved it further down to focus on the task at hand. I couldn't have him in the water for too long.

Not giving a fuck about my clothes, I picked him up and out of the tub before grabbing a towel on my way back to the bedroom. I had to sit him on my lap as I sat on the bed in order to dry him, goose bumps appearing all over his skin. Holding him in my arms really drove it home how much smaller he was compared to myself, but he still had no problem standing up to me. If his condition didn't improve at all before sundown then I was going to call my family doctor. I sure as hell wasn't an expert in taking care of people and I wouldn't let Boruto suffer because of my ignorance. I fucked up a lot of things, but I wasn't going to fuck this up.

Once he was dried, I wrapped him in the towel and contemplated what to do next. I couldn't let him rest on his sweaty sheets even if it was only while I searched for his clothes. I decided to carry him up to my bedroom and laid him down on the mattress before going through my closet. I didn't want to be too far from him so I couldn't return downstairs to get his own clothes, but I didn't have anything comfy for him to wear. All I had were dress clothes and I always slept in the nude. _Damn it._

The best I could do was a pair of underwear and a black robe so he wouldn't be cold. After I got him somewhat clothed and situated under the covers, I change out of my clothes and into dry ones. I wasn't sure what to do other than putting a wet cloth on his forehead and simply watched him closely as I sat on the side of the bed. The pit of guilt came back up and this time it refused to go back down, this was all my fault. I pushed and pushed trying to get him to quit, but I only pushed him into getting sick. What the fuck was wrong with me? This wasn't what I wanted at all.

I wanted to do more for him, but what could I do? I didn't know where the medicine was if there was any in the house, much less what to give him and how much. I couldn't cook and it wasn't as if I knew what to make for him either. I really needed to call the doctor, but I didn't know where the hell my phone was. The least I could do was get him a glass of water to drink, but the nearest house phone and the kitchen were downstairs. I was torn between going down and staying by his side when his eyes fluttered open.

"Kawaki?" He grumbled. "What happened?" He asked, sounding as if he were still half asleep.

"You're just a little feverish." I told him softly, not wanting to have him worrying on top of everything else. _Thank god he woke up._ "How are you feeling?" _How bad is it?_

"Sleepy." He answered as his eyes tried to drift closed again.

I cradled his cheek in my hand, allowing myself to show him I cared if only for a moment. "Then sleep. I'll be here."

He hummed and was soon sleeping soundly, his face finally relaxed. I removed the cloth to feel his forehead and released a sigh of relief at the lower temperature. I got up to wring it out before wetting it again, still determined to call the doctor at a moments notice. After I put the cloth back on his forehead, I sat on the other side of the bed with my back against the headboard. He just looked so young and vulnerable like this . . . though that was pretty much the truth. It was a reality check, a hard slap to the face that made me feel like shit.

Regardless of what I wanted, I had to find another way to deal with him besides being an asshole. I didn't have it in me to keep hurting him and I hated seeing the cold look in his eyes every time he called me 'sir'. I kept a close eye on him for awhile, but just like the second day he was here, sleep claimed me easily. It didn't make sense how his presence soothed me when nothing else would. I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I woke up early the next morning. My neck was stiff from the position and Boruto was using my lap as his own personal pillow, the cloth nowhere to be seen.

I touched the back of my hand to his forehead, more than glad it was close to normal. My fingers slid into his hair and I tried to hold back the affection I felt for him. Boruto shifted slightly and then his eyes opened. After a second, his brows furrowed and then his eyes widened. He sat up suddenly as if startled and turned his head to look at me. He looked confused and almost worried, hand clutching at the opening of the robe he wore.

"W-What did I do?" He asked nervously, averting his eyes from me.

"You didn't do anything." I told him and rubbed the back of my neck. "You were sick is all, but you're still a little warm so take it easy."

"Oh." He frowned and finally looked back at me. "You had to worry about me . . . I'm sorry for troubling you."

_Well fuck._ "No, Boruto . . . I'm sorry for treating you like shit."

He looked surprised at my words. "You didn't do anything like that, really." He told me with a soft smile. "I was neglecting myself a bit, but I didn't mean to."

And now he was making excuses for me, even after the way I treated him. "Quit it. I was making things hard for you and I said some mean things . . . I knew what I was doing." I confessed, not knowing I was going to end up being this honest. Once the words started though, they didn't stop. "I was trying to get you to quit and find a better job."

"Why though?" He asked, a sad look crossing his features. "It's hard for me to find work. Nobody wants to hire me. And this is the best job I ever had."

Fucking salt to the wound. "I'm alone in this house for a reason." I admitted, not knowing how far I would go with this truth thing, but I couldn't leave him without some kind of explanation. "This house . . . it ruins people." _My family ruined people._ "And I don't want it to ruin you. I don't want you to end up like-" _Fuck, am I really going to tell him?_

"Like what?" He asked quietly.

"Like . . ." I sighed and just went for it. "Like Nami. She was the one I fired before you got here, you took her position."

"Why did you fire her?" He questioned me, curiosity getting the better of him.

I rubbed my neck again and stared down at my lap. "I'll go ahead and tell you that most of the rumors about my family are true. Nami was, like most of the staff here, treated like dirt. I never treated her badly . . . I mean damn, she practically helped raise me . . . but pain doesn't go away just because the ones inflicting it are gone. She was bitter . . . and she grew to hate me." I stopped there for a moment. It was difficult to talk about and it still hurt.

"She was wrong. To mistreat you because of someone else's doings. I don't care about rumors or anything like that. I like my job and I like you too. Just . . . Don't push me away."

I clenched my fist, foolishly hoping it was true, that I had finally found someone who didn't care about my family name. I didn't want to believe it when he first got here, but he was still here and he wanted to stay.

"I won't . . . I can't anymore." I whispered.

"Promise?" He asked hopefully, scooting closer to me.

"I promise." How could I not when he looked at me like that?

Boruto grinned before leaning into me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "Thank you." He said, cheek resting against my chest. "I should go cook now."

"Wait." I said and wrapped my arm around him, keeping him in place. "You're not fully recovered yet. Are you sure you're alright to cook?" He sure as hell wasn't going to go on a cleaning spree until his temperature was completely normal.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Need food. So hungry." He mumbled, his hold on me tightening a fraction. "I'll cook something quick."

I couldn't stop him when I knew he was hungry and apparently my stomach had something to say on the matter as it growled. "Right. I'll let you get to it then."

"Mmhmm." He hummed, though he didn't move.

"Well, are you going to get up?" I asked with a raised brow.

"I will . . . When you let go." He said as he grinned against my chest.

The tips of my ears burned and I quickly removed my arm. "Forgot about that." I muttered under my breath.

"I didn't mind." He said happily, reluctantly pulling himself away from me and letting me go as well. "It won't take me long." He got out of bed then and paused, bending down and then tossing something over to me. "You might need that."

I frowned at him as he left before getting up to see what he had thrown. "That cheeky bastard." I groaned, fighting off a smile at seeing my boxers laying on the floor.

I picked them up and threw them in my pile of clothes, adding the ones I wore along with them. Then I hopped in the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist when I was finished. I was surprised to see Boruto setting down a tray on the bedside table, still dressed in my robe.

"You didn't stop to put some clothes on?" I asked, wondering what he made that was that quick.

"I was too ready for food." He admitted. "And I really like this robe. It's so soft."

"Well . . . you can have it if you want." I said and then added, "I don't really use it."

"That doesn't surprise me." He mused. "But this is way too nice for me." He said, rubbing the robe over his body as he sat down on my bed. "I'm just happy I got to wear it this once."

I huffed as I walked over to my closet. "Nothing is too nice for anyone, just because you can or can't buy something doesn't mean you don't deserve it. I might do paper work and check on the winery and vineyard, but everyone on this estate works harder than I do. They're the ones making the money."

"You pay a lot too. My check really surprised me! It helped a lot." He told me, voice muffled as he ate his food.

"I only gave as much as you put out, so thank yourself."

"I barely do anything." He said, words almost impossible to understand since his mouth was full again.

I chose a black button up shirt and black dress pants as usual, but reached for a red vest. "This house used to be filled with servants, you do more than enough." I said and then frowned at the way that sounded. "Fuck, not that I see you that way . . . I mean, yeah I'm your boss but I don't think you're below me or some shit like that." I wasn't like my parents.

"You don't?" He asked in amazement, having finally had an empty mouth before he spoke.

After I grabbed a pair of underwear, I turned around to face him. "No. I see all the staff as employees, but I see them as people too. I don't think I'm better than anyone." I said seriously. "Those rumors are utter bullshit."

"I thought . . . Maybe that's why you were pushing me away. Because I'm poor. And nobody." He told me honestly, looking down at the toasted sandwich in his hands. It was about halfway eaten.

I folded my clothes over my arm and walked over to him, ruffling his hair. "Come on now, you've got a family that loves you right? That's all the riches you really need. And I don't think you're a nobody."

Boruto gazed up at me with amazement in his eyes, his lips parted. "Oh." He breathed in awe before smiling wide. "You're being sweet, Kawaki."

"Not really. Just stating facts." I said, ears burning again. His baby ass was really too innocent for me. "Mind stepping out for a second so I can change?"

"Alright." He nodded, taking his sandwich and glass of water out of my room.

Once the door clicked shut, I got rid of the towel and finished getting dressed quickly. Then I called Boruto back in as I went to the tray to see what he made for me. I was pretty hungry myself.

The door opened and Boruto walked in slowly, his sandwich gone. He came over quietly and sat on the bed once more. "Do you have to go out today?" He asked as his eyes wandered over me.

"It depends on how things are coming along, I'll have to check my phone." _When I find it._ "But I will have to go out tomorrow."

"Oh okay." He mused as I sat down next to him. "Know where that phone is?"

I paused for a split second as I brought my sandwich to my mouth. "It's where I left it."

"Hm. You have no idea." He realized with a smile. "Why do you have so many though?"

"I only have the one." I said before I took another bite.

"Well if you don't wanna tell me fine, but you don't need to fib."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Boruto got up and walked to the bedside table, opening the drawer and pointing in it. "I'm talking about your more-than-one phone."

"What the fuck?" I voiced when I saw most if not all my past phones. "Where did you find those?"

"Most of them I found in your room here. So I know they're yours. I don't care if you want so many I was just curious why."

I shook my head. "It wasn't on purpose. I keep buying replacements when I can't find the damn thing. I suppose that's one mystery solved. I'll keep a few as back ups and wipe the rest clean before sending them back." I said and considered another option. "Or I could give them away . . . maybe some of the staff members need one."

"That sounds like a nice idea." He smiled before getting down on his hands and knees and reaching under the bed. When he sat back up he placed my current phone on the bed beside me. "This is the one you use now."

"How the hell do you keep doing that?" I asked with narrowed eyes. It's like he knew it was there.

"I just look around. You don't." He shrugged and giggled. I only felt a little insulted. "Guess I'll go to my room and put some clothes on. Looking at you makes me feel very underdressed."

I hummed and glanced at his attire. "Keep the robe."

"I will take good care of it." He assured me on his way out of my room.

I checked my phone while I continued to eat, responding to half of the messages I'd missed. I decided to go riding since I was up earlier than usual. I hadn't visited my horse since Boruto got here and I knew he was going to be upset about it. I put my cell phone in my pocket and took one from the drawer when I was done eating. I began wiping the old phone as I walked downstairs, stopping once I reached Boruto's room. I knocked on the door twice and waited for him to answer.

The door opened, revealing Boruto dressed in blue jeans and a T-shirt. "Something wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"No, I wanted to give you this." I said and held out the old phone. "I figured you should be the first. If you're going out today, let me know if you come across anyone else who might need one, but don't say anything about what I'm doing."

"I can't accept it." He told me, shaking his head quickly.

"I need a way to get a hold of you and vice versa. I don't really like using the house phones and they won't do shit if we're both outside." I said, not taking no for an answer. "Which I will be, going outside that is. I should be back before lunch time."

"Oh." He took the phone and held it at his chest. "Alright. We'll have a big lunch today."

I ruffled his hair for the second time that morning without thinking. "Looking forward to it."

"So am I." He grinned, looking up at me fondly. "I'll keep this phone on me. If you need me or anything."

"Good."

I left him to finish his duties before his free time and headed to the stables. It was better like this, not pushing him away. I preferred seeing him happy, but I wasn't sure what would happen in the future. I didn't know what I was going to do and for some reason . . . I didn't know what I wanted anymore. Boruto was free of the past, of this house's history. Maybe, just maybe it would be different with him. He might be strong enough to live here without becoming tainted. I didn't know what brought on this new hope, but damn I wished he could pull it off.

The second I stepped into the stabes, I heard a neigh followed by stomping hooves. My gaze went to Midnight's stall to see him tossing his head back and forth. I went over to him and voiced my apologies while I stroked his snout. His tail flicked in the air a few times in irritation, but he soon calmed down. I patted his neck a few times before I let him out and got him saddled up. I was glad to be able to do it myself, knowing that if any of the staff spotted me they would insist on doing it. There was a lot of shit I didn't know how to do, but I at least wanted the space to do what I could do.

I got atop of Midnight and rode out onto the estate. There were very few things that put my mind at ease, my black stallion being one of them. He had been a consistent comfort in my life and offered an escape. There were times when I couldn't let the feeling of the piano keys soothe me, when it felt like the walls were iron bars. I couldn't stand small places as in general, but when that large house started to get suffocating I had to get out. I rode around the vineyard and checked on it as well as the people working it from a distance. I didn't get close because I wasn't in the mood for any ass kissing, but I wanted to make sure they weren't working too hard.

After seeing that all was well, we went down the trail along the wooded area. I let Midnight wander in and graze for awhile as I took in the fresh air and savored the moment of peace. I decided to get down and walk alongside him as we went back down the trail. I held onto his reins in one hand and chuckled as he kept nudging me with his nose. I knew he missed me and I needed to make more time for him these days. I frowned when he suddenly stopped and turned his head to the side, looking at something through the trees. I followed his line of sight and saw another horse.

Familiar blond hair was riding behind what looked like Shikamaru's boy. An unfamiliar feeling washed over me at how tightly my butler was holding onto the young Nara. Annoyance swelled up in me as well at the fact that Boruto would accept a ride from him, but not from me. I knew it was petty, but I still didn't like it. I figured Shikadai was the new friend he had mentioned before and he looked like he was having fun. I shouldn't have been feeling any type of way, it was good that Boruto was having fun. His free time was his own and when he was with me, he was always working. I wanted him to be treated well by the other staff members and enjoy himself.

However, he didn't have to sit so damn close. _Fuck, what is wrong with me?_ There was no reason it should bother me like this, but the sight of them ticked me off all the same. A part of me wanted to go over there and yank Boruto right off that horse and I was shocked at the possessive desire. I mounted Midnight and told myself to calm the fuck down.

"Kawakiiiii!" Boruto called, sounding close.

_Well shit._ I reluctantly looked over to find them coming my way. I had wanted to get away and collect myself, but I couldn't leave after Boruto called out to me. I waited where I was as they closed the distance between us, Boruto waving excitedly while holding onto the boy with his other arm. The Nara looked slightly uncomfortable, nothing like Boruto who couldn't stop grinning.

"I didn't know you could ride a horse." Boruto admitted, staring at me for a moment before his eyes moved to Midnight. "He's so handsome."

I could feel Midnight preeing at the compliment. "He is." I agreed and patted his neck. "And smart too. You won't find another horse like him."

"I should get back to work, Boruto." Shikadai spoke up.

"Oh?" Boruto frowned as he looked down at the ground and then laughed nervously. "I don't think I can do it."

"It's okay, I'll help you." Shikadai smiled then, dismounting the horse quickly to help Boruto down.

"That's a long drop." Boruto mused once he was safely on the ground and Shikadai released him, quickly getting back on the horse.

"You'll get used to it. Practice makes perfect, right?" Shikadai grinned at him and then looked to me, giving me a polite nod. "Master Kyū."

"Bye Shikadai! See you later!" Boruto called, waving enthusiastically as Shikadai went on his way.

I pushed down whatever I was feeling, telling myself I was being ridiculous, and instead addressed another concern. "You're afraid of heights?"

Boruto looked back at me and laughed. "Yeah . . . no sense in lying about it. I had a bad fall when I was younger. I've been scared ever since."

Picturing his baby ass even younger brought a cute image to my mind, but I wondered just what had happened. "It was that serious?"

"Broke my ankle and my arm in two places, but it could have been worse for sure."

"Why do I get the feeling you were doing something you shouldn't have?" I asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Well, everyone is afraid of something and you have good reason. I'm impressed you're trying to overcome it."

"I always wanted to ride a horse! That was my second time and Shikadai is so nice, he makes it easy." He smiled happily. "Really, getting down is the only problem."

I fought back the urge to scold and focused on the second part of his response. "If practice is what you're after and you like horses a lot, how about a third time?"

"You mean . . . with you?" He asked in uncertainty.

"And Midnight." I added. "He's a good boy, you can trust him . . . and I won't let you fall."

"Aww, really?" He took a step closer, admiring Midnight before looking back up at me. "But . . . But I think he's even taller."

I gave him a playful smirk. "So am I."

Boruto laughed. "You are really, really tall. I can't get up there. It's like a mountain of a horse."

I got down from the saddle gladly. "I don't mind helping you up, but you'll have to greet him properly or else he'll be offended." I told him. "Midnight, Boruto. Boruto, Midnight."

"Hey there, handsome." Boruto beamed and slowly reached out towards Midnight. "Can I?" He asked me, pausing.

Midnight answered before I could and pushed his snout into Boruto's hand. "I don't think you have a choice." I chuckled.

"Oh gosh, so precious. He reminds me of you, Kawaki." Boruto murmured as he rubbed Midnight's nose.

"Is that right?" I said lightly, not knowing how to take the compliment. "You do have a point . . . he won't let you fall either."

"That's not what I meant . . . but that's good." He giggled, rubbing his hand down Midnight's neck carefully while his tail moved back and forth happily. "What do you think boy, can I take a ride on you with the boss here?"

Midnight neighed and stomped his foot a couple times. "That's definitely a yes."

"Okay." Boruto took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I won't be nervous."

"It's alright if you are." I assured and took his hand. "But it'll be fine. I'm ready when you are."

He nodded, looking up at me with bright blue eyes. "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

He came closer to Midnight's side and I helped him climb up, my hand still holding his own while my other one steadied him. Midnight stayed perfectly still the whole time and Boruto was easily seated in the saddle. I got on behind him quickly before he could think about being that high by himself. Once I had my arm on either side of him and the reins in my hands, I made sure he was alright.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"W-why are you in the back? This isn't right." He whispered, holding tight to the saddle. "I'm gonna fall."

Realizing he was flustered, I couldn't resist teasing him a little. "That's impossible." I said and let one hand release the reins as I wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling his back against my chest. "I've got you surrounded like this."

"Y-Yeah." He stammered. "S-surrounded."

I couldn't deny how adorable his baby ass was being and I almost felt bad for teasing him. _Almost_. "Let's get going."

I urged Midnight forward and made sure not to take it too fast. Boruto was quiet on the way back to the stables and I couldn't really blame him. Although the fact that he was so affected by me, it was admittingly satisfying. I got down first once we reached our destination and waited for Boruto to tell me he was ready to dismount.

He looked at me anxiously, hesitating. "I think . . . It's not so bad up here." He mumbled.

I could tell he was just putting on a brave face. "You're in good hands, Boruto, I'll catch you no matter what. Don't think about it as coming down from a high place. Think of it as . . . coming down to me."

His eyes widened before he broke out in a grin. "I can do that." He told me happily, hooking his foot in the stirrup and putting his weight there. "Okay . . . Just going down to Kawaki. No biggie." He spoke to himself, swinging his leg back around and hopping down quickly. "Whoa."

He fell back towards me and I easily caught him against my chest. "Well you sure came down in a rush. Did you miss me up there?" I asked with a chuckle.

"It was a lot." He whispered, grabbing my hand and laying it over his chest. His heart was pounding. "So scary."

I was suddenly well aware of his body in my arms and was reminded of holding him multiple times while he was sick. "I would never let you fall." I said quietly and ended up pulling him closer. I wasn't sure what was coming over me, but I needed it. I needed . . . him.

"Kawaki . . ." Boruto trailed off, heart racing faster still.

Affection was building up inside me again at the sound of his voice and I was both worried and elevated at the fact. "Just what are you doing to me?" I whispered, struggling to find the right words in this situation. "Boruto . . ."

"I-I'm sorry." He told me shakily. "I didn't . . . I didn't mean it."

"I'm not so sure I believe that." I said, searching for the will to let go of him but coming up empty. I was going to jail if someone didn't do something. "If you ask me to stop, I will."

"Well . . . That's never gonna happen." He admitted shamelessly.

_Damn it._ "Now I feel stupid for mentioning it."

"You should have known . . . I mean . . . This is me we're talking about." He laughed lightly.

I leaned my face against his shoulder to hide my smile. "Yes, you're such a troublesome blond."

"That's fine. As long as you don't call me a little baby." He muttered, still amused.

That wasn't likely to happen, it was just a fact. "I make no promises."

"Hey." He whined. "I'm not a baby. And not little either. Well . . . compared to you, _maybe."_

"Exactly." I said and after a moment kept the honest thing going. "But I like that about you." I confessed before letting go and stepping away. "I'll put Midnight back in his stall. And you have a promise to make good on, remember?"

"Lunch." He hummed, sounding disappointed. "I'll get on it right away. As soon as you finish here."

I nodded and began taking off Midnight's saddle. Then I went ahead and hung up his reins as well, knowing I was done riding for the day. I let Boruto feed him some oats before we left and we walked back to the house together. I was in a really good mood for once and decided to play the piano while I waited for him to finish cooking. His presence in the house felt practically normal now and a part of me found it oddly comforting. It had been a long time since I let someone get close to me and I was afraid what it would lead to, worried it would all come crumbling down.

I was hesitant and second guessing myself, but this new found hope . . . I thought there was a chance things wouldn't turn to shit. I had been living in my own personal hell for so long and I still felt like I was just existing, but maybe that would change. I had to be the one taking a step forward without letting the threat of failing stop me. No one was around to hurt me anymore and I had to remind myself that Boruto wasn't like Nami. He wasn't going to suddenly turn on me, spitting out words of hate. He wouldn't make it his mission to tell me everyday how miserable his life was because of my family.

I wouldn't have to fire him, because he wanted to stay. He wanted to be here and it wasn't out of spite. I needed to grow the fuck up and not use the past as an excuse to reject him, he deserved much better than that. I ended up playing longer than I realized and looked over my shoulder when I noticed eyes that had been watching me. Boruto was standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall with a peaceful look on his face. He really did brighten up the room.

"Lunch is ready?" I mused as I stood. "Did I keep you waiting?"

"Not long. I was distracted anyway." He smiled softly.

I walked over to him and ruffled his hair. "I'm not really sorry about that."

"I don't expect you to be." He said honestly. "I did keep my promise though. Hope you're ready for a huge lunch."

"There won't be anything left." I assured and followed him to the dining room.

"Whoa, are you starving? I think I feed you pretty well though." He shook his head as he laughed.

I shrugged my shoulders. "True, a man's gotta eat, but I wouldn't let anything you made go to waste."

"Really? That makes me happy . . . And I'm pretty sure you like my cooking." He said as we took a seat next to each other. This was much better than sitting alone.

"I can admit you have skills, Boruto." I told him as I admired the spread. "You're cooking is the shit."

"Oh wow." He grinned, holding his red cheeks. "That's enough."

Red was a good color on him. "For now." I conceded.

It was important for him to know that I appreciated his hard work and that I was grateful, his paychecks were in no way generous. He deserved every penny.

"You're really doing a number on me today." He grumbled, trying to distract himself by eating.

I couldn't argue with that. "You fucking like it." I smirked, but said nothing more as I started eating as well.

"I do." Boruto agreed quietly before adding, "I really like it."

I gripped my fork tightly, the need to hold him coming back. We spent the rest of the day in the house and I got some work done in my office. Whatever it was with Boruto was speeding up again now that I had stopped trying to push him away. It was the same as before, yet different, the atmosphere between us had changed. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I did notice one thing. I wasn't nearly as reluctant and I just knew I was going to have trouble controlling myself. Boruto's baby ass was more grown up than I would admit and I had been doing my damndest to ignore it.

Seventeen years old, a grown baby. Then here my ass was at twenty five. Eight fucking years between us and despite everything, his parents entrusted him to me. They would probably kill me before I ever made it to jail, especially if they were anything like Boruto. Besides that, I was struggling to keep up with my emotions and if I gave in I was going to complicate things even more. I had to get a grip and be the adult here. I took a shower after dinner and flopped down onto my mattress when I was dry.

I had just gotten settled under the covers when the door opened and I knew who it was despite the darkness. There was only one person it could be and two things quickly became clear: one, I was naked as fuck, and two . . . he was heading right for the bed.

"Kawaki?" He called quietly as he padded over. "So dark . . ."

"Don't trip." I said and then mentally cursed, so much for pretending I was asleep.

"I won't." He said, leaning over the bed and feeling around. "Oh. There you are."

I couldn't allow this surely, sleeping in the same bed was out of the question. "Are you . . . getting in?" _Fuck, what am I doing?_

"Yes." He hummed, crawling over and getting under the covers with me, snuggling close. _Fucking shit._

"You're wearing the robe?" _Just the robe? Tell me I'm wrong or else this is going to be a different kind of hell._

"Mmhmm." He answered as he rested his head beside mine. "It's so soft and comfy and it covers my whole body."

I swallowed hard, remembering to keep my hands to myself. "Good. That's good. I'm glad you like it."

"It's warm. But you're warmer." He said, hand moving to my chest and running up to my shoulder and back down. "Hot."

It was all over, I was going to be arrested for sure. "It's mainly the blankets." I insisted and reached over him, pulling them further up his body.

"No. It's just you. I'm sure of it." He told me, smile evident in his voice.

"Boruto." I said, recognizing that mischievous tone. "You do realize . . . that I'm naked."

"I'm not far from it myself." He admitted cheekily. _Fucking bastard._

"All the more reason to be smart about this." I said, mainly talking to myself.

"Right." He hummed, hand slowly trailing down my chest.

I grabbed his wrist and flipped him on his back. "You're doing this on purpose."

"Doing what?" He questioned softly.

I wasn't falling for the innocent act. "You know what. You know what could happen if I do this, don't you? You know the situation we're in here."

"What are you going to do?" He asked then, voice quieter.

"I don't know." I said honestly, but I had a good idea if I couldn't control myself.

He raised a hand to my head, fingers carding through my black hair. "Don't run away from me."

I closed my eyes at his touch and rested my forehead against his own. "You should be the one running from me. Can you really say you want to do this without any regrets?"

"Definitely." He promised. "But can you?"

His question caught me by surprise, but it wasn't hard to figure out the answer. "Me regret it? Not a chance in hell." I replied. "And that's what's got me hesitating . . . I wouldn't feel guilty in the least."

"Then what are you waiting for? You don't need to feel guilty or regret it. It's what we both want."

But that didn't make it right, I should feel guilty. I should be putting a stop to this and yet . . . "I can't say no." I said and opened my eyes. "I do want you."

"I can't believe it." Boruto whispered in amazement. "Do you really?"

I let my weight fall down and rest on top his, my hand fisting his hair at the back of his neck. "Yes. Fuck yes, more than it should be possible." I wanted all of him.

He pulled in a shaky breath before saying, "Well you can have me. I'm all yours."

It was dangerous of him to say things like that, but damn what it did to me. "_Boruto._"

"I mean it. So don't try to stop it."

He wasn't giving me much of a choice. "After hearing you say that, I doubt I could."

"Good. Then . . . Can I have a kiss?" He asked hopefully, hands holding onto my arms.

I answered without words and brought my lips down to his, not bothering to keep it chaste. I licked my way inside his mouth and worshipped his tongue. He tasted sweet and his lips were soft, but the little noise he made was my favorite. I kissed him until he was breathless and even then still gave little pecks to his lips. If I had any doubts about his feelings or my own, I was going to crush them.

"K-Kawaki . . ."

I leaned back a bit to let him speak, but my hand went from his hair to the opening of his robe. "What is it?"

"I'm . . . Uh . . . I never . . ." He couldn't form the words he wanted to say and he stifled a whimper as my hand slipped beyond the robe. "I haven't . . ."

I wasn't the type to assume these things, but I had a suspicion about what he wanted to tell me, I had suspected it to be the case. "You haven't been with someone before?"

"N-no, never." He told me. "But it doesn't matter. I still want to do it. Really bad."

My fingers traced the area around his nipple and I leaned back down to kiss under his ear. "It does matter, that's something really important. I'm honored that you would give it to me." I said softly. "I'll make sure it's something you never forget."

"I know you'll take care of me." He breathed, completely relaxed beneath me.

He truly was amazing. "That's good to know, but I'll always stop if you tell me to." I said and thumbed the perked bud, sucking right underneath his jaw at the same time.

"Never." Boruto managed to say between a moan, hands trembling as they held onto me.

This moment was the only thing on my mind. Boruto. I did want him and I wanted to make this experience everything it could be for him and more—knowing I would enjoy it just as much as he would. He'd never been with anyone else, probably had never been this close to being with anyone either and yet he was so eager to give himself to me. It was liberating.

I wanted to keep things slow, this was important. Even if there was a part of me that wanted to just dive right in because _fuck, _he was driving me crazy. My lips returned to his and I kissed him deeply, loving the taste of him and how he reacted to the kiss alone. His hold on my arms tightened and then slackened as he struggled to keep up with me, soon losing the ability completely once I'd pushed the robe open.

My hands wandered over his soft skin while I kissed his parted lips and then his cheek and neck. The more I touched and kissed him, the more sounds he made. It really turned me on—he really turned me on. It was so easy to make him feel so much, it literally taking little to no effort from me. He was in a pleasured daze, softly moaning my name as a means to ask for more. I would give him more.

Eventually, I started working my way down his body, lips and tongue trailing south. He wiggled under me, breathless and shaking. I'd never seen anyone so beside themselves with desire before. He watched me through hooded eyes, glazed over with admiration and lust as I went lower, occasionally nipping at his skin. The farther down I got, the more intense his reactions became and when I spread his legs apart and leaned down to ghost my lips across his inner thighs, his back arched.

"Kawaki, I can't." He groaned, hands gripping the robe on the bed at his sides.

"Don't fight it." I instructed. "Let it happen, Boruto." _I'll make it happen again and again until he's satisfied._

It was a lot for him to take in, I knew that and honestly I was taking it easy on him. He needed the release, he was desperate for it—staring at me so pleadingly. He just needed a little push and I was more than willing to give it to him.

My hands roamed up and down his thighs as I gazed back at him, wondering how I ever thought I was going to keep this from happening. Really, I had no control. This urge I had for him was something I couldn't ignore. I didn't want to. Not anymore.

Boruto's head fell back and he cursed lewdly when my hand finally touched his member, rubbing up it slowly but firmly. "Oh no. Oh no." He whimpered, writhing.

"Come on, baby, just let go." I encouraged, eager to see him come undone.

That was all the persuasion he needed, Boruto wailed, body convulsing as I stroked him through his orgasm. He breathed so heavily, as shaken as he could have been. His skin was flushed all over and he didn't quieten down for a long while.

"Fuck. You're doing great, Boruto." I praised and soothingly caressed his side. "You're alright, I've got you."

"I didn't mean to . . . so soon." He whined, cheeks red as he covered his eyes with his arm, still trying to settle his breathing.

"I wanted you to." I told him and rested my hand on his arm. "Don't go hiding, I want to see that sexy face of yours."

"S-sexy?" He questioned, removing his arm slowly. "Let's not start telling fibs."

"The hell I'm telling fibs." I smirked and hovered back over him. "Call me crazy, but if I wasn't your first then I would be pissed that someone else saw you like this." There was more to it than that, I could feel it, but I wasn't going to think about it now. I had a sexy blond to please.

My own erection was becoming hard to ignore and Boruto was unable to respond to me, completely at a loss. The night was still early and I had a lot of work to do, but I was going to thoroughly enjoy every second of it. It didn't take long for Boruto to fall back into his dazed state, eagerly reaching towards another orgasm, but I wouldn't let this one happen so easily. I wasn't trying to tease him or give him a hard time with his arousal, but I needed him as relaxed and horny as possible for me to stretch him.

Barely two or three minutes passed by with my fingers inside of him before he was on the verge and begging me to stop, or not stop. He didn't know which way was up at the time and I was feeling a bit smug about it, but I wouldn't let him know that. I was focused on getting him ready for me and reminding myself that even though I'd taken every step to prepare him, I still had to be careful with him.

When I pulled my fingers away, he groaned loudly. "No! No, no, no. Kawaki . . . Kawaki. I need it."

"You need it? Or you need me?" I asked as I rubbed his thigh.

"Mm you. Please. Now." He begged, voice sultry and hips rocking.

I gave him a gentle kiss before getting into position, threading his hair back through my fingers with my free hand. "Remember to breathe for me."

"I will." He said, hands moving down to my waist. "Just don't make me wait anymore."

I smiled fondly at his impatience and couldn't resist giving him another kiss. Then I slowly started to slide in, watching his expression closely. I stopped a couple times to let him adjust until he was able to take more of me. Once I was fully sheathed inside, my head dropped to his shoulder. I was the one that needed to remember to breathe because, _damn._

"Kawaki . . . It's," Boruto began, only to be cut off by one moan after the next.

"I know." I groaned. "It's the same for me."

It took everything I had to restrain myself and I left open mouthed kisses along the side of his neck. When he was ready and unable to stand it anymore, I finally began moving. He clung to me while I slowly thrusted into him, cradling his face as I trailed my lips up to his ear.

Boruto opened his legs even further for me, head falling to the side so I could get to his neck and ear more easily. After each kiss, I sucked on the area, moving slowly but steadily. I'd never heard sounds as sweet as the ones he made and _fuck_, he was so tight around me that I soon had to stop again, teeth clenching as I raised my head to gaze at him.

His eyes opened lazily to peek at me, crystal blue eyes locked on mine. His face was contorted in absolute rapture and his hands came to cradle my face that hovered just above his own. He pulled me down to him and I gladly sealed his lips in yet another kiss. His hips rocked under me, urging me to move and I could feel his member throbbing between us—just as mine was. So close. Even without moving, the buildup was steady. It was a combination of many things that had me pulling out, trying to prevent the inevitable, but it was too late, I couldn't help it.

I lost myself, pushing into him again quickly as I took hold of his member, stroking him fast and firm as I thrusted into him. We came together, the feeling so intense that it whited my vision and Boruto cried out so loudly, I feared he'd lose his voice. When I finally stilled and collapsed on top of him, breathless and spent, he wrapped his arms loosely around me—just as drained as I was. I didn't want to crush Boruto with my weight, but I didn't have the energy to move and he didn't seem to mind.

"Are you alright?" I asked, wanting to make sure I was as gentle as I tried to be.

"Yeah . . . Sleepy though." He mumbled.

I hummed and smiled into his hair. "You were perfect."

"You were too." He whispered, words dragging out as sleep crept up on him.

It wouldn't be long before he was out cold. I stayed put even after I regained some energy, deciding to act as his personal warmer as he slept. Now that I had gone and crossed the line, there was no going back. I would have to take it one day at a time and let what happened, happen. I couldn't say for sure what was in store for us in the future and I could only hope I wouldn't fuck it up. Boruto was a beautiful light in this house of darkness and it was becoming clear that I selfishly wanted to keep him, he was changing everything


	4. Chapter 4

**Light of my Life**

**Chapter Four**

.

Waking up wrapped in Kawaki's arms with the awareness of what had transpired between us the night before was so surreal that I didn't know what to think. I didn't understand how it happened, not even a little. It had been just over a week since I started working for him and yes, I was ridiculously attracted to him and I was easily attached, but I never thought he wanted me in any kind of way. At all. But he said he did and he meant it, because he proved it to me. He showed me that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

I didn't think he actually liked me at all. Always calling me a baby and being mean to me, but now I knew that he had just been trying to push me away. Kawaki was all alone and for some reason he wanted to keep things that way. I hated being alone and I didn't want him to be alone either. This huge house he lived in once had his family here, but now it was just him. I didn't know what happened, but the fact remained that he was all by himself now. And he needed someone like me to be here for him. I would, I wanted to do that because I thought a lot of Kawaki.

He was a meany. But he was my meany.

I felt different. My body, my mind and even my heart. Kawaki made me feel so good, he treated me as if I was precious, making sure that I was comfortable the entire time. _Then I passed out. _I knew that was rude of me, but I couldn't help it. After coming twice, my body had lost all its energy and as much as I didn't want to sleep—because I wanted nothing more but to absorb the sensation of what had happened—I couldn't stay awake.

Now, Kawaki was sleeping deeply, showing no sign of waking at all. He was cozy, so warm. I never wanted to move. But I had to. I still had a job to do and that meant making breakfast for the two of us. We needed to fuel up and get energized. Maybe we could cuddle again later, that would be nice. I really liked snuggling up to Kawaki, it put me at peace and made me so happy, but I wouldn't neglect my job to do so. I knew I would get another chance sometime, hopefully tonight at the latest, so I got up without feeling sad about it.

My hips were a little sore, and so was my backside, but not to the point of being totally uncomfortable. I felt better after a shower and getting dressed in some of my favorite shorts and a T-shirt. It was still early, but not too early to get breakfast started and I had to figure out what I was going to make for lunch and dinner as well.

I needed to get into the library at some point today and do some cleaning. Dust was this places worst enemy and it took a lot of willpower to fight through it during cleaning. My nose suffered the most, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, not even close. I made a simple, nutritional breakfast for Kawaki, while having cereal for myself and then carried it up to him. He was in the shower when I walked into his room and I left the tray on the bedside table as I always did, not wanting to bother him.

Since we'd had sex, I didn't know what was going on between us and I wasn't sure if anything was really going on or if that was a one time thing. It was all up to Kawaki, but I knew I wouldn't be able to bring it up to him, and I really wasn't sure how to face him just yet. I was happy, maybe even too happy. I'd never imagined being able to feel such bliss and for it to be with _him, _I was still amazed.

After putting a load of clothes in the washer, I went into the library to get started. Some of the higher shelves looked as if they hadn't been dusted in a long time, so I prepared myself with a mask and apron, gloves too. I needed to start from the top and work my way down but . . . Just looking at the rolling ladder gave me anxiety.

_What if I fall? _My legs didn't work well with climbing. Two steps on that ladder and they'd start shaking, I knew it. But this was my job and I couldn't _not _do it. I had to get up there, face my fears—for Kawaki. I could do it. With the duster in hand, I rolled the ladder to the start of the shelves and stared up. It was a long way up and even longer way down.

"Nothing to it but to do it." I muttered to myself as I took the first step onto the ladder. My heart started racing immediately and I didn't move, holding tight to the ladder as I tried to calm myself.

Telling myself not to look down and trying to pretend I was just on the floor, I climbed higher, having to go up to the fifth step before I could reach the top shelf. Ignoring my trembling, jelly legs, I started my dusting. It was even worse than I anticipated and when I did finish where I could reach, I found that I couldn't get down. That was the hard part. My legs wouldn't move. I was scared. It was too far, my whole body shook with fear and all I could do was wrap my arms around the ladder and try not to look down.

I knew I couldn't just stay here forever, but I couldn't move so I didn't really have a choice. I felt weak and just the thought of trying to go down made me nauseous. I knew if Kawaki found me like this, he would probably laugh at me or think I was being ridiculous, but I didn't care. It was impossible, much more difficult than getting off the horse. _I should have never attempted this. _

"Are you stuck?" Kawaki asked from behind me, staring up at my trembling form.

_Oh man. Busted. _"N-no." I lied, trying not to look back at him and get distracted.

"Boruto." He said, not fooled in the least. "There's no need to be dishonest. If you need me to come and get you just say so, or you could come down to me. You know I won't let you fall."

"I know." I said, pulling in a deep breath. _So far though. _"I don't know . . ."

I heard some movements followed by some banging. The next thing I knew, there was another ladder perched right beside the one I was on. "Stay put."

"W-What are you doing?" I asked fearfully.

"I'm saving the kitten stuck in a tree." He teased as he started climbing the other ladder.

"I'm not a kitten!" I huffed, cheeks burning. _This is so embarrassing. _

It wasn't long before he was beside me, an amused expression on his face. "No need to get hissy." He said and then wrapped his arm around my waist. "Hold onto me."

I wanted to jump on top of him, but I couldn't do all that moving. However, I did manage to wrap my arms around his neck, having no idea how he was going to get me down. "It's all over." I whined, closing my eyes as I held tight to him. _At least I wouldn't die a virgin. _

"Shh, I've got you baby." He cooed as he easily held my weight against him.

_Baby? _I decided if I died like this, it would be alright, but I lived. Kawaki carried me down with ease and held onto me even after he put me down on my feet. I was safe, on the floor. "I was so scared." I admitted even though I was ashamed. "Thank you for saving me."

"Anytime, but stop climbing up to high places without me." He said and ruffled my hair. "At least until the day you conquer your fear."

I pulled the mask down from my mouth and sighed. "I have to clean up there . . . I'm going to do it, I promise."

"You want to go through that hell everytime you go up there?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I have to." I frowned, slowly looking up the ladder. It's my job to clean. I needed to be the best butler I could be for him.

He cupped my cheek to turn my gaze back to him. "Fine, but let me know when you do."

"Okay." I nodded, trying not to get lost in those silvery grey eyes. "But . . . Not today. If that's okay."

"Of course." He said and suddenly pulled me in for a kiss.

My heart was suddenly pounding and it wasn't because of my fear. My hands clutched onto the back of his shirt, but the kiss didn't last nearly long enough. "Kawaki." I breathed, unable to believe this was happening to me. He was going to make me forget everything else but him and truthfully, I was afraid.

"It's your fault." He said as he leaned back. "I can't resist when you look at me like that."

"For real?" I asked, trying to figure out how I was looking at him.

He traced my bottom lip with his thumb. "For real."

I couldn't come to terms with the fact that he could be so affectionate. That he could look at me so softly. That he could make me feel like this—so crazy. "You're gonna kill me." I told him, honestly not caring a bit.

"I would never." He smirked and then sighed. "I have to visit the winery today and I don't know how long I'll be."

"Oh yeah?" That didn't sound like fun for me. "I hope you won't have to work too hard. I'll probably go outside for a bit."

"Alright. You'll have your phone on you?" He asked.

"Yes, of course." I grinned. "Why are you gonna call me?"

He chuckled and pulled out his own cell phone, for once not lost in the house somewhere. "Damn straight, I'll need to talk to you so I don't lose my mind. The managers over there love to brown nose.'

"So then you're not gonna call just to see what I'm up to?" I pouted playfully.

"Not unless you're up to no good, you troublesome blond." He said and held my chin. "You'll be good, won't you?"

"I'm always good." I promised with a smile. "I'm just going to try and find Shikadai and go through the vineyard with him."

He hummed and released me, looking away. "Have fun, but don't distract him from his work."

"Oh and I meant to tell you . . . he doesn't have a cell phone." I said once it crossed my mind. "But I won't distract him. He still works when I'm with him."

He nodded. "Then he'll be first in line to get one. Let me know if you come across anyone else that could use one."

"I will." I beamed at him, hugging him close. "You're so sweet."

Kawaki scoffed, but hugged me back tightly. "Only to you."

My face heated at that but I couldn't stop grinning. "That's not true! You want to help your employees so much and you're so great and beautiful and I'm so happy."

"Stop that." He said, his ears reddening. "And don't go telling the staff members these things, it's better to let sleeping dogs lie."

"But I wanna tell the whole world." I giggled, rubbing my cheek against his chest. "I wish you didn't have to go but I'll be so happy when you come back. Will you bring me some wine?"

"Nice try, but fuck no." He quickly shot down. "I might bring you back a little something though."

"Kawakiiiii." I groaned. "I just want your wine so bad, it's so good and has your name on it. I just want a little. You can watch me the whole time. I'll be good."

"Damn it, Boruto, quit trying to tempt me with your baby ass." He said and brought his lips down to my ear. "Don't think I won't punish you."

"What? You mean . . . you would fire me?" I asked worriedly, not letting go of him or moving my head. "Just because I love your wine?"

"Not that kind of punishment." He said and his hand snaked down my back to grip my ass.

I squeaked at the suggestive words and his touch as well. "That sounds . . . Interesting. So then you'll bring the wine, right?"

He chuckled and stepped away. "Not happening so you might as well give up. I really need to get going before I end up pinning you to the nearest bookshelf. Behave while I'm gone, seriously."

"You can't just say something like that and then leave me, you big meany!" _The nerve of him . . . _

"Think about it all day so then you're nice and worked up when I get back." He smirked before he headed out the door, throwing a wave over his shoulder.

"Now I'm just sad." I sighed, crossing my arms as I watched him go, already eager for him to return.

I ended up deciding not to search for Shikadai today, even if it would have helped pass the time. Instead, I started dinner and then got in Kawaki's bathtub, having a nice long soak. It was good and relaxing and made me realize I really wasn't doing any work, but as long as I fed Kawaki and cleaned most of the time, I figured it was alright.

Even though he said he wouldn't bring me any wine home, I still wanted to drink some. I didn't know why he had to make a big deal out of everything all the time, it wasn't like anything bad could happen from me drinking a little. I knew there were bottles in his room that I could easily get my hands on and as much as I wanted to, I didn't. I didn't want Kawaki to be upset with me, so I wouldn't go against his wishes.

I had checked on dinner and then finished up the clothes I'd been drying, so after my bath I was just sitting on his bed when my phone laying on his bedside table went off. _Oh. _I excitedly grabbed it, finding it to be a text from Kawaki.

'_If one more person compliments me on my apparently perspective taste buds, I'm going to throw something.'_

I laughed at reading the text and hearing his voice in my mind. He could definitely be easily agitated. I had to take a moment to figure out how to reply, but eventually figured it out.

'_I wish I could taste the wine too.' _I typed into the phone and pressed send, picturing him rolling his eyes and talking about my baby ass.

'_You'll never let it go, will you? I already said I would bring you something so stay away from my wine.'_ He replied, another message following right after. '_What are you up to?'_

'_I can't tell you. You might get mad.' _I teased, grinning to myself as I waited for a response.

I didn't have to wait long. '_I'll get mad if you don't tell me. What are you doing?'_

'_Nothing really… just being lazy. Took a bath now I'm laying in your bed.' _I responded, not going to mention the fact that I had yet to put anything on.

It took a few moments for him to respond. '_Are you wearing your robe? Not really an image I should be picturing right now.'_

I giggled at that, wondering if he was actually getting any work done but not really caring. '_No…' _I texted back vaguely.

'_No? Then what are you . . . oh fuck.'_

I laughed again as I read the text, quickly replying. '_I'll put it on eventually.'_

'_This is revenge for earlier, isn't it?'_

'_I'm not a meany like you.' _I replied before adding in another text, '_but you can think of it however you want.'_

His next response took a little longer to come. '_Doing this to me now when I have to keep a straight face in front of everyone, shit, I can't believe you.'_

'_You're the one that asked. I wasn't going to tell you.' _I sent back, grinning wickedly. '_I'll put on the robe if it'll make you happy.'_

'_Do what you want, it doesn't matter. I got your baby ass when I get home.'_ He promised and then added, '_Got to go.'_

Thank goodness because I didn't know how to respond to that anyway. I tossed the phone on the bed next to me and grinned up at the ceiling. How the heck had my life changed so drastically in such a short amount of time? Coming to ask for this job was the best thing that had ever happened to me for sure. I didn't think I'd ever been his happy. No, I knew I hadn't.

After a while I did put the robe on, needing to head downstairs and check on dinner. Everything was finished so I cut everything down on low and then stretched. I was feeling a little tired so I made some tea, thinking it would help pep me up, but it only relaxed me and made me sleepy. With a yawn, I wandered into the living room and curled up on the couch in the soft robe, eyes drifting closed.

Knowing I didn't need to fall asleep on the couch, I forced myself to get up and slowly made me way up the seemingly endless stairs on my way to Kawaki's room. His bed was so comfy, but not as much without him. Still, I had no problem getting in the bed and covering myself up, yawning yet again. It wasn't long before I was sleeping soundly.

I registered the feeling of fingers in my hair before the deep voice calling my name, becking me to wake up. "Boruto . . . hey, I'm home."

"Kawaki?" I opened my eyes slowly before blushing at how close his face was. It only took a second for me to be wide awake. "W-welcome back."

"Oh, I could get used to hearing that." He smiled and buried his nose in my neck. "How long have you been here?"

"I-I don't know." I admitted. "I fell asleep."

His hand went under the covers and played with the robe's tie. "Sleeping the day away in my bed, huh? I think I like you pampered and spoiled."

"I didn't mean to." I pouted, whole body flushed from his teasing. "I did cook dinner."

"I noticed. You deserve to take it easy." He said as he pulled the tie apart.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked, blinking at him in disbelief. He was stripping me . . .

He started kissing my neck and let his hand trail down my stomach. "Taking care of you."

I couldn't respond, too distracted by his hand and his lips. He was going to take me again, so soon? I didn't know if I'd survive, but I would die trying if need be. He took hold of my member and lazily began stroking me up and down. He got more enthusiastic as I started to harden and sucked and nipped at my neck, determined to leave marks. I gladly tilted my head to the side and let him have his way with me. He didn't waste any time once I was completely erect and moved the blankets out of the way. His mouth left my throat to flash me a smug smirk before he repositioned himself, hands holding down my hips as he licked around the tip of my cock.

_Oh no. _"What? Kawaki . . ." I whispered, not thinking I could handle any of this. "You can't."

"I most certainly can." He said before dragging his tongue down the side, eyes looking up at me teasingly.

_How can he do this to me? _I bit my lip to stifle a moan but it still formed in my throat. "Too much." I told him, already breathless.

Kawaki took that as encouragement and kept teasing me with his tongue. My hands fisted the sheets and my head fell back, my body already feeling weak. There was no way I could do this, he was really trying to kill me. My hips moved on their own, but he restricted the movement as he saw fit. It wasn't long until my member was covered with his tongue and my back arched when he suddenly took me into his mouth. He sucked hard and without mercy, forcing me to moan out his name.

"Kawaki!" My hold on the sheets got tighter and it was getting hard to breathe and so hot I couldn't stand it. "No . . . No."

He was unrelenting and eager to pull me over the edge no matter what, practically sucking my orgasm out of me. I didn't last longer than another minute before I was coming with a shout, trembling uncontrollably as he continued to deepthroat me. It seemed to go on and on, never ending as he sucked me dry. When he finally released me he licked his lips, heated gaze focused entirely on me.

"Why did you . . ." I trailed off, panting and still reeling from the orgasm.

"I decided to have dessert before dinner." He shrugged, looking smug again. "Thank you for the meal."

If my face got any hotter it was going to combust. "Stop!" I whined, covering my face with my hands.

He laughed and the bed dipped by my sides as he leaned over me. "You are the fucking cutest."

"Kawakiiiii no!" I pouted behind my hands, he was just too much for me.

"You mean Kawaki yes." He corrected cheekily, but laid off. "Let's head down and eat that dinner you made, can't let your hard work go to waste."

There was no way I was making it down those five million stairs. "Y-you go ahead. I just need a minute." _Or a night. _

"Oh, I really did a number on you, huh?" He mused and retied my robe. "Stop hiding and come here, I'll carry you."

"N-no way." I shook my head, refusing to move my hands. I was way too heavy for that. _And just the thought . . ._

"I wasn't asking." He said and lifted me against his chest.

"Kawaki, stop it." I said pleadingly, finally pulling my hands away as he picked me up off the bed. _So strong. _"I'll walk, I'll walk!"

He didn't listen and started walking towards the door. "Too late, I already committed."

Seeing all these new sides of him was really getting to me. "You don't need to do this, really." I told him quietly, heart swelling with joy and admiration. I liked him too much.

"I want to. Spoiled and pampered, remember?" He smiled down at me.

I buried my face in his neck and sighed. He was really going to make me crazy about him. I already was. "I don't need to be spoiled and pampered."

"By anyone other than me." He agreed as we went out into the hallway.

"Not even by you silly." I smiled. "I'd rather spoil and pamper you."

"You got another thing coming if you think you can stop me." He said stubbornly, holding me a little tighter. "I don't do this for just anyone . . . you're pretty damn special."

"Whoa. You really mean that?" I asked in surprise, miraculously keeping my voice calm and low.

He hummed and paused for a moment. "Took everything I knew and said fuck that. I gave up on people—on trying to make connections. I wasn't even thinking about replacing Nami, determined to be as secluded as possible. And then your baby ass shows up out of nowhere. You're making me rethink a lot of things . . . and I'll admit that I'm hoping . . . I'm trying to let you in." He confessed quietly. "Not that you have any trouble getting in on your own. Should have known that from the start when you broke into the estate."

"I was desperate . . . Thank you for letting me in. And giving me this job of getting spoiled and pampered. What a dream." I giggled and rubbed my nose against his neck. "You're so sweet."

"There you go, saying that shit again." He mumbled. "Embarrassing."

"But you are sweet. And beautiful. And always smell good and dress to impress and your wine is delicious I really want some. I want to be able to drink it with you."

"Still on about the wine." He grumbled. "Let's break one law at a time, alright? And you should be satisfied with what I brought you."

"Who's gonna tell on us, hm?" I grinned. "And brought me? What are you talking about? You mean . . . You did bring me wine?"

He carried me down the steps, one flight at a time. "How many times do I have to tell you no? I brought you chocolate."

"I don't know why you gotta tell me no at all." I huffed. "Chocolate though? That's sweet for a big meany like you."

"It's more than a pouty baby like you deserves." He shot back. "How about you sass me after you have a taste."

"Ooh. Okay." I agreed, licking my lips reflexively. "But, quick question. How long do I have to wait before you let me drink sometimes?"

We made our way to the dining room and I could feel Kawaki rolling his eyes. "I've had enough of your wine talk for one day."

"You're not gonna answer me?" I scoffed. "Then . . . Then I'll just do it whenever I want." _Yeah. _

"We'll see about that."

_Yeah we will. _"You can put me down now." I sighed, trying not to pout and failing miserably.

He set me down and looked at me in amusement. "Troublesome blond."

"Big meany." I grumbled and left him in the dining room to go and prepare our plates.

It didn't take me long and I carried the tray back to the dining room carefully, taking my time in settling the table with everything. When I took my seat next to him, I started eating right away, keeping silent. He was strange. So sweet on me one moment and such a meany the next. I didn't know how to deal with him. Kawaki dug in as well and I refused to look at his cheeky face. It was just as annoying even if he wasn't saying anything. I finished eating before he did and he was quick to push a box over to me, the chocolates he had mentioned.

"You really didn't have to bring me anything." I told him softly, really appreciating that he would do something like this for me. I couldn't remember the last time I had a piece of chocolate, and I'd never had one out of such a fancy box before. It was an assortment of some kind and I liked the box so much I wasn't sure I even wanted to open it. "Thank you, Kawaki." I smiled as I traced his last name that was engraved on the box. _Wait a minute here. _"Whoa, you make this candy too?" _Wow. _

"Well, it's not really candy." He told me. "It's definitely not for kids and you shouldn't eat more than a couple tonight."

_Not for kids? _"Why not?" I asked curiously, carefully opening the box because I had to have a piece.

"Try one and find out." He encouraged, not willing to spoil it just yet.

"They look delicious." I flashed him a smile then, the assortment having a dozen different pieces of chocolate, none of them the same. "How can I choose?" I huffed, unable to make a decision since they all looked so good.

"Close your eyes and pick one out." He suggested, finishing off the rest of his food.

"Ooh. Great idea!" I grinned as I did as he said, closing my eyes and picking up the first chocolate my finger touched. It looked milky, dark chocolate swirls around it. "Here goes." I hummed before putting it in my mouth and biting down on it. There was a liquid center that covered my tongue, a strange taste I'd never experienced before. Once I swallowed it, I looked back over at Kawaki. "That was . . . Strange."

"It's not the wine that you found in my room, but it has its own charms just the same." He grinned mischievously.

_Alcohol. Oh wow. _"This has alcohol?!" I roared in shock.

"What?" He asked, playing innocent. "I said you couldn't drink it, but I didn't say anything about eating it."

"It's the same thing though!" I huffed. "So I can have alcohol as long as I'm getting fat in the process? Then you won't want me anymore."

"Damn, how much are you planning on eating? If that's how it is I can just take it back." He said and reached for the box.

"Not a chance!" I snapped, pulling the box out of his reach. "You gave this to me and you can't take it back, ever." I took another piece and shoved it in my mouth to prove my point.

He raised his hands in the air. "Alright, alright. Keep them, but don't go eating those all at once. I don't want you getting sick."

"If half a bottle of wine didn't make me sick, a few chocolates won't." I was certain. "Can I have one more?"

"You just had two." He pointed out. "And the alcohol in those chocolates are different from the wine you drank, trust me. Don't make me regret giving in and letting you have those."

"Two's not gonna do anything." I grumbled, giving up and closing the box. "Whatever."

He chuckled. "So you want to get drunk, huh? Two will give you a little buzz, you gotta give it time."

"I just want to feel like that one time I had the wine and it was so good." I pouted as I started piling everything into the tray. "But you're such a meany."

"It's something to look forward to in the future, Boruto."

"If you think I'm waiting four years to be able to drink freely, you're crazy and mean." I muttered, picking up the tray as soon as everything was on it.

Kawaki didn't say anything else and I didn't wait around for him to. I was ready to get the dishes washed and go to bed, but just as I was rinsing the last of them, an oddly familiar sensation washed over me. _Oh, the chocolate! _I could definitely feel it, even if it wasn't particularly strong. I smiled to myself and was really happy that Kawaki would let me try something like this, but denying me of his delicious wine was torture.

By the time I made it to his bedroom, I was feeling really good and wanting another piece of chocolate. I'd carried the box up with me and since he was in the shower, I debated on sneaking another piece. I was a rebel anyway, so I didn't think about it long before I grabbed another one and ate it quickly. _So good. _

After I put the box away, I got under the covers, grinning broadly. Now I had something to make me feel good like this and though they wouldn't last forever, I might be lucky enough to get another box when I finished this one. I definitely liked it, though not as much as I liked the wine.

I was just giggling about how ridiculous Kawaki was when he came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was certainly beautiful and I couldn't prevent my eyes from roaming up and down his body slowly. I could get addicted to him.

"Hey." I grinned at him, anticipating him joining me. "Hurry up."

"Well shit, you don't have to tell me twice." He said and crawled into bed with me. He got under the covers and then tossed the towel on the floor before pulling me to him.

"So warm and big. I like." I sighed happily as I wrapped my arm around him and pressed my nose to his chest.

"So adorable and small. I like." He mimicked, holding me even closer to him.

"Well we're a perfect pair." I mused and opened my lips to press a kiss to his neck.

He hummed and started massaging my back. "I think you're right."

"You bet your grown ass I am." I laughed. "I'm so right that it's wrong."

"You're fucking drunk." He chuckled, tone fond. "You're always right, baby."

"You can't call me that." I told him, leaning up to gaze at him closely. "I . . . Did something maybe kinda bad."

"What did you do?" He asked softly.

"Hmm. Not telling." I grinned. "You might be a meany again if I do."

He rolled over on top of me and tilted his head. "Not going to talk? Are you sure about that?"

I nodded quickly. "My lips are sealed forever."

He nodded as well before smirking, his hand flying to grab my wrist and pinning them above my head. "Shame." He said as his other hand started tickling me.

"Oh no! Haha, no, no, stop it!" I laughed as I struggled under his weight, unable to escape. "Please, please!"

His hand paused as his eyes narrowed at me. "Feel like talking?"

"Yeah." I sighed in relief. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Cheeky bastard." He smiled. "Come on now, what supposedly bad thing did you do?"

"Oh that . . . well like . . . possibly might have eaten something."

He let go of my wrist and propped his face in his hand, getting settled above me. "And that something was?"

"I don't know. It was sweet and bitter at the same time, it's hard to explain right now." I giggled.

"Sweet and bitter, hm?" He stroked my cheek with his thumb as he thought about it. "Could it have been . . . chocolate, maybe?"

"Okay yeah. It was that." I smiled. "Was really good. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled back. "I swear, you're so bad. But I guess I can let you off this time."

"Every time would probably be best." I told him as I reached up to play with his hair. "I might maybe do it again."

He chuckled again and leaned into my touch. "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

"I think . . . Spoil and pamper." I mused, fingers sliding through his black hair slowly.

"Good idea, why didn't I think of that?" He asked and placed a single kiss on my forehead.

"You were too busy being a meany. But since you stopped can we have some of that good stuff?" I asked hopefully.

He raised a brow at that. "The good stuff? What are you on about?"

"You know . . . _The good stuff."_

"Hmm . . . you mean this good stuff?" He asked and slid his leg between my thighs.

"Ah, n-no. But maybe." I blushed and took hold of his hair. "No. No, not that."

He brought his face closer to mine and huffed. "Then what the fuck is it?"

_Oh no. _"N-nothing."

"Boruto." He said and cradled my face with both hands. "Spill it. What good stuff do you want?"

"Just . . ." I couldn't tell him I was meaning the wine and he get mad at me. "A kiss." That was better than the wine, but he didn't need to know that.

He shook his head with a sigh. "You silly drunk." He spoke before capturing my lips in a kiss.

His lips lingered, molding against mine perfectly—so soft and warm. I kissed him back as a quiet sound of approval rumbled in my throat, fingers tightening in his hair. He tasted minty, having just brushed his teeth and his tongue worked its way into my mouth with ease, making me moan the instant it came into contact with mine.

There was nothing in the world like this—feeling him, tasting him. Yes, I was definitely crazy about him. I'd never get enough. His skin was so hot, but I liked it and I happily trailed my hand over his shoulders while the other remained in his hair. I had no idea what I was doing, but it didn't feel that way with him kissing me. It was so perfect. He was so perfect. I never wanted this moment to end.

Those chocolates seemed to make the moment even more intense, or maybe it was just him. It didn't matter, all I knew was that I was desperate for this—being with him like this. I couldn't get enough so even when he pulled away, I forced him back down to me, kissing him greedily. My legs hooked around him, pulling him impossibly closer and he groaned into my mouth.

My fingers slid through his hair before gripping it at the back and with every second that passed, I grew more and more aroused. I couldn't help it and I didn't want to. He was feeling it too, I could tell by the way his hips grinded down on me and also by the sexy sounds he made.

"Kawaki," I finally broke away from his lips with a moan at the way his abs rubbed against my erection and the way his own pressed against me. "I want you. Please. Will you give it to me?" I couldn't wait any longer and my own hips rocked up against him in my needy state.

Kawaki sighed softly, cradling my face and somehow managed to make me feel like the most precious person in the world. He moved so slow, working me up in the most maddening way and making me come another two times before it was over. He took me gently, taking his time and keeping it slow even at the end. When it was over, I could only hold onto him weakly as I started drifting, too tired to stay awake.

…

I had fallen hard for Kawaki. It didn't take any time at all, but it was a fact that I couldn't ignore, even if I planned to keep it to myself as long as possible—in fear of scaring him off. I'd never been with anyone like I was with Kawaki and not just because of the sex. But . . . I loved him. He was so special to me in ever sense of the word and I wanted to be the one to spoil and pamper him. I wanted to show my love for him by doing anything I could to prove to him that he was irreplaceable.

Things were going so well between us. I'd never been so happy. Over the following couple of weeks, Kawaki really did spoil and pamper me. We spent a lot of time together every day and we had fun too, even if we were doing nothing more than snuggling up to each other. I tried not to be lazy, but Kawaki made me sometimes and I had yet to be able to dust the top shelves in the library. One day though, I would make it.

I went home once a week, taking my paychecks to my parents and spending an hour or so with them. I really missed my family, but I was happy being with Kawaki and I could tell the money I was making was really benefiting my family. They were proud of me and very supportive so I didn't feel bad about not being home anymore. I never tried to walk anywhere anymore, always asking Kawaki to call a car for me when I needed to go grocery shopping. He was as happy as I was and I knew it. He cared about me, he _had _to. I just knew this was true, until that following Friday afternoon.

Nobody ever came to Kawaki's place, _ever. _So, while I was in the middle of cleaning the kitchen just after Kawaki left to go to the winery and I heard a knock on the front door, it came as a shock. With a frown, I dried my hands on a hand towel and made my way to the door. I opened it, a polite smile on my face as I spotted a beautiful, petite woman on the other side of it. She was dressed nicely in designer clothes and looked like a model. I was honestly impressed just by the sight of her, even when she looked at me like I didn't belong.

"May I help you?" I asked kindly as I stared at her brown eyes, perfect liner around them.

"So it is true . . . Nami is gone." The woman sighed. "And you must be her replacement. Well, it's nice to meet you. I'm here for my annual visit, let Kawaki know I have arrived. You may call me Yuko."

_Annual visit? _Maybe she was a distant relative or something. I wasn't sure, but Kawaki hadn't said anything about anyone coming to visit. "He isn't home right now, Miss, and I'm afraid I wasn't aware any visitors would be arriving."

"I see . . . he hasn't said anything about me, has he?" She asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "I'm not surprised, he probably forgot I was coming today too. That man is lucky I think he's worth the trouble." She shook her head with a smile on her lips. "I assure you it's alright. I would call him to clarify the situation, but I doubt he hasn't lost his phone yet at this time of day."

"I can assure you that he has it. So go ahead, call him, Miss Yuko."

She frowned at my words, but pulled out her cell phone. "Well you're certainly spirited." She voiced before dialing the number, pressing speaker as the phone rang. "Kawaki, your butler won't let me in." She said as soon as the other side of the line clicked.

"_Fucking hell, Yuko?"_ Kawaki spoke, solidifying her claims.

"Of course. It's rude of you to keep forgetting about your fiancé, you know." She scolded. "I should be at the forefront of your mind."

_Fiancé? _My face fell at the implication, but I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't.

"_Don't start with me. Give the phone to Boruto."_

Her frown deeped at his tone. "We'll talk when you get home then. Your butler can hear you, I have it on speaker."

"_You can let her in Boruto . . . I'll explain everything when I get back."_ Kawaki told me.

"Oh no, _we're_ talking when you get back." Yuko quickly interjected. "You've put me off long enough."

Kawaki clicked his tongue in irritation. "_Damn woman. Boruto, did you hear me? We'll talk, I promise."_

I didn't want to talk to him at all, much less see him. My heart felt as if it had shattered into a million pieces and it took everything I had just to keep standing where I was. I couldn't respond to him. I just couldn't. I had nothing to say to him.

"I'll show you to a room." I said to Yuko after clearing my throat and turning so she could walk inside.

"Excellent." She said as she snapped her phone shut, hanging up on Kawaki.

"Right this way," I said as I grabbed the luggage on the floor next to her and ignored my shaken nerves, quickly leading her through the house. I took her to the second floor and to a room that was as far away from mine as possible. I hadn't been in mine in so long now, but I would definitely be in it from today onward. "Here you are."

I carried her bag and set it down next to the dresser, finding myself unable to look directly at her. "Would you like me to get you anything?"

I wished I hadn't even offered, though considering it was my job I didn't have much choice. She was happy to ask me for more than a few things, specific snacks and a glass of Kawaki's wine to start. Then she had me change the bedsheets for no reason and clean her bathroom. It took me over an hour to get away from her and I was so desperate to do so. I needed some time alone. I needed some time. And when I finally got a moment to lock myself in my room, I dropped down to the floor and let my emotions pour out.

I'd never know pain like this. I loved Kawaki, I had fallen for him so hard and yet . . . he was engaged to this woman and still having sex with me and treating me like he wanted nobody else but me. I was mortified, feeling humiliated and so distraught all I could do was sob quietly and wish I had never asked for this stupid job.

How could he do this to me? Was this really the kind of person Kawaki was? It had to be . . . Yuko wasn't lying. Kawaki didn't deny her claims of being his fiancé. I was in absolute disbelief, crushed beyond repair. I cried so long, my throat was sore, my cheeks were chapped and my nose was stopped up. There was no pain like a broken heart and I'd never experienced it until now.

I hated both of them. I'd never felt so betrayed—so angry. I didn't know how to feel or how to get myself together. I wanted to quit. I wanted to run home to my family and beg them to make me feel better. But that was impossible. I still needed this job. However, I wasn't sure I'd be able to face Kawaki again, ever. If I worked for him though, it would be inevitable. He was going to try and talk his way out of this, but that wasn't happening. I wasn't going to listen to him and I had nothing to say to him either.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally ran out of tears and got myself together before leaving my room. I went to the kitchen and cooked dinner, leaving it on low and then going up to Yuko's room. I let her know that dinner had been prepared but told her that I wasn't feeling well. I asked nicely if she would tell Kawaki and since she agreed, I went and locked myself in my room. She had everything she needed and I'd done my job for the day. I just couldn't do anything else. I couldn't handle anything else today—I still needed to cry and hope that somehow I could mend my broken heart.

"Boruto?" Kawaki called from the other side of the door after some time. "I'm here to talk . . . please let me in."

I pulled the covers over my head, closing my eyes as they filled with tears yet again. It would probably take forever for such a wound to heal, but eventually it would have to. For now though, I couldn't do this. My eyes ached from all the crying and my cheeks were puffed up. I wasn't sure how I wasn't dehydrated yet, but I honestly couldn't believe the nerve of him—thinking I would listen to him at all.

"Boruto." He called again. "Fuck, I . . . I know how this looks . . . and I'm not going to make excuses. I just want to explain myself. It's not everything that it seems to be."

I already knew everything I needed to know and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of responding to his words or letting him think I was actually listening. I never wanted to see him again. I couldn't stand the sound of his voice, spouting his lies. _Just leave me alone. _

"Boruto, please don't shut me out."

I never would have, if he had never deceived me in such a way. He made me feel like such an idiot. He'd called me an idiot before, so I knew now that it was true. I was just somebody for him to play with, I really didn't mean anything to him, but he'd started meaning everything to me—and that's why it hurt so badly. I never expected things to happen like this, end so soon, hurt so much.

After that, he gave up, leaving without another word and I was glad. I cried myself to sleep but the next morning I felt as if I hadn't gotten any rest at all. Exhausted and broken, I forced myself to take a shower and dress in my usual shorts and T-shirt before leaving my room. I would have to make the two of them breakfast, but I wouldn't hang around to serve them. If I got fired, fine. At least then I'd know I didn't quit.

When I finished cooking, I set up the dining table and went to notify Yuko that it was prepared. She commented on how unwell I looked and I told her I was still feeling under the weather so she told me not to worry about anything, that she and Kawaki would be just fine on their own—which only made me feel worse.

I was thankful though, having no complaints about locking myself back in my room and laying in my bed with nothing else to do. I would have to prepare lunch and dinner, but other than that, I wasn't coming out of my room.

I stuck to my guns, only leaving my room right on time to prepare lunch and set it out for them, then I was quick to make a beeline for my room once more. I passed Yuko along my way, noticing that she was giving me a very dissatisfied look.

"Lunch is waiting in the dining room whenever you're ready, Miss Yuko." I told her quietly, not stopping to see what her problem was. I felt like I was being professional enough and it was all I could manage anyway.

When I walked into my room and turned to close the door, my heart fell into my stomach at finding Kawaki standing to the side with his arms crossed. I wanted to run out, but he'd quickly stepped between me and the door, closing it all the way and leaning back against it to prevent my escape.

"Stop running."

I should have ran away from him and this place from the beginning. I wasn't about to deal with him because he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve me. "Get out." I whispered, unable to keep my voice from trembling.

"I have to talk to you." He insisted, rooted to the spot.

"No." I said simply as I moved over to my bed and laid down, refusing to look at him. "Get out."

"I won't." He said and followed me, standing beside my bed. "This arrangement between Yuko and I . . . it means something different to me than what you're thinking. I'm not marrying her because I want to."

I pulled the covers over my head and willed myself not to break down. "Get out." I repeated, not wanting to hear anything he had to say about it. I wasn't going to listen to his lies.

"Boruto, just listen, alright?" He huffed, but it lacked energy. "This . . . it's something I have to do . . . I want you to understand. I want-I need to explain this to you."

I was so mad I shot up into a sitting position, not caring if he saw me crying. "I hate you. You do what you have to do, but leave me out of it!" I nearly screamed through my sobs, glaring at him directly. "You're a liar. A fake. You . . . You made me love you and then I find out _this." _I shook my head and forced myself to breathe as I got out of bed. "Don't bother trying to _explain. _This doesn't need an explanation. It's crystal . . . crystal clear."

"Boruto, wait." He said, holding up his hands. "Shit, just . . . just wait. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. It's not all black and white, I haven't faked anything. I didn't tell you about her, but, fuck . . . I didn't lie. I'm _not_ lying."

Of course he didn't mean for things to turn out like this, he obviously hoped to string me along for a longer time, but that was all water under the bridge now. He was a liar, no matter how much he tried to deny it. I got to my feet, feeling nauseous and lightheaded. I couldn't stop crying.

"I could have made you happy. I could have . . . I wanted to . . . But I regret it all." I cried, rushing past him to get to the door.

My feet carried me out of my room and through the house as quickly as possible and by the time I made it outside, I couldn't breathe. This feeling, it was crushing me and I didn't know how to make it stop. I'd never cried so hard or so much, I'd never in my life expected to ever be in this situation, but I was. I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with such deception, but I did. I was angry, knowing how much I'd struggled in my short life. Just when I thought things were going to start looking up for me, everything was ruined. It wasn't meant for me to be happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Light of My Life**

**Chapter Five**

**.**

Shit had hit the fan. I had gotten so wrapped up in Boruto that I forgot about Yuko, about the arrangement we had. It was something I decided before I ever met Boruto, something that couldn't be avoided. I was going to live and die in this house. It was a fact whether I liked it or not, but what happened after that was the problem. The bottom line was that I needed an heir, someone to carry on the family name despite how filthy it was. I needed someone to take care of the estate and the people working there after I died. Yuko was willing to help me do that as long as I married her.

It was a fair trade at the time, but now everything was different. I had Boruto in my life, hell, I was trying to actually _live_ my life. Then she had to come along and wake me up from my dreamlike world. Although it wasn't as if I could blame the entire situation on her. Our parents had set us up together before we were even born, but I was the one who asked her to bear my child. I was such a piece of shit, I couldn't believe I had forgotten something like this. I could only imagine how hurt Boruto was. I ended up doing it again even though I said I wouldn't, I was putting him through this pain.

He gave himself to me only to find out I was engaged. He put his trust in me and I fucked it all up, but the shitiest part . . . the thing that really made me an asshole . . . that was the fact that I didn't have a solution. I still intended to marry Yuko and that made me a down right bastard. I wouldn't ask Boruto to stay, how could he be with a man who was going to be with someone else? I knew that what we had was over, it was ruined. I wasn't a complete idiot, I knew I couldn't hold onto him. And yet, I couldn't let him go without talking to him. I wanted to explain even if he didn't want to hear it. I had to tell him that no matter what my heart was his and that it always would be.

For what little comfort that was, he had to know. He had to know that it wasn't a lie. I had known Yuko for a very long time, but she meant shit to me compared to him. And she knew it too. I had tried to talk to Boruto again after he had locked me out of his room, but he avoided me. Then every time I worked up the nerve to go to his room again, Yuko put a stop to it. She didn't understand why I wanted to see him so badly and was making things harder on me. I was sick of her interfering and finally let her have it right before lunch, pissed at her latest attempt to prevent me from seeing Boruto.

"Stop clawing at me!" I hissed and yanked my arm free from her grasp. "Why are you like this? You know our terms well enough."

She crossed her arms and settled into a hard glare. "You never fail to remind me everytime I visit, but this time is different. I'm your future wife and yet you want to go and talk to the butler, when will you pay attention to me? Don't I deserve affection?"

"What affection?" I scoffed. "This is nothing more than business for me."

"Don't talk about it like that." She demanded, tone cold. "You were the one that came to me asking if I would help you continue your bloodline. You wanted me to have a child outside of marriage and then agreed when I added the condition. After all, where else were you going to find a woman who would be with a Kyu, much less under the conditions. You're untouchable. You won't give your heart to anyone and yet I'm still trying to earn it. I'm marrying a man who doesn't love me, but you could in time. You'll have to for our child."

_How dare she-_ "Don't come at me with that bullshit. Don't you fucking _dare_."

She gritted her teeth and then scowled. "I'm doing my best for you! I let you put me off for _years_, I'm letting you have the rest of my life. You asked for it and I'm giving it to you so I'll come at you however I please. Something is wrong with you . . . you're more resistant, you're different from the last time I was here."

I clenched my jaw as well as my fist, more than ready to tell her the truth. "I know what I've asked of you, but don't go acting like I'm the villain. You could walk away and say no at anytime." I reminded. "I did do it . . . I did give my heart to someone and it sure as hell wasn't you."

That shut her up for a minute and I enjoyed watching her connect the dots. "No . . . _No!_ Are you serious? You-you want a serva-"

"Watch what you say, Yuko." I warned, not giving a damn how much my threatening tone sounded like my grandfather. "That's how it is and you would do well to remember it. End of conversation."

It was easy to deal with her, my mouth had no trouble forming words. However things had gone completely different when I finally cornered Boruto. I had never seen him like that . . . and I had never seen him cry. I deserved every word, every ounce of Boruto's rage when he yelled at me. I wanted to go after him the second he left, but I was frozen in shock and in shame. He thought I was nothing but a liar, a fake. He thought I had used him and then tossed him away. He had no idea how much he truly meant to me.

It was clear he had no interest in listening to me and I still wasn't sure what to say, how to get my words to reach him. I decided to give him some space before I tried again and this time I would make him listen. I would tell him everything and then . . . then he could leave. However, he never came back to the house after he stormed out. I began looking for him when it got dark, but he was nowhere to be found. I started to panic, thinking he had left the estate completely. _Fuck._ He couldn't have left. He couldn't have gone without hearing everything I needed to tell him.

It wasn't until hours later that I caught wind of him. His blond hair popped up in the vineyard before disappearing again and I could hear him laughing with someone else, apparently in a better mood. At least until he saw me, but I headed over to him anyway. I wasn't even surprised when I saw Shikadai sitting next to him on the ground, but the half empty bottle of wine had my temper flaring.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash your little party." I said as I stood behind them, trying my best not to let my anger overrun me. I had more important things to do than get mad.

Shikadai looked back at me with wide eyes and Boruto groaned from where he laid on the grass. "Gotta be kidding me." He grumbled before laughing to himself. "Oh boy."

"Sorry Boruto, I'll see you later." Shikadai murmured wisely before getting up and brushing himself off.

"No! Don't leave me." Boruto whined and then giggled again. "I might get fired tonight."

"Boruto. Stop. See you." Shikadai sighed and didn't look back at me as he hurried off.

I kneeled down beside Boruto, my gaze on the ground. "If this is the last time I see you then at least let me talk without any interruptions." I said quietly. "That's all I'm asking."

"Talk all you want, I'm not gonna listen." He shrugged and then grumbled about me being a liar.

I sighed, but took what I could get, glad I didn't have to do things the hard way. "Every single person on this estate counts on my family as their livelihood. Their jobs are in my hands and if something ever happens to me, what will become of them? When I die, who is going to take care of generations of people that call themselves my staff? I can't hand everything over to some stranger and I have to continue my bloodline.

"I need an heir . . . that's why I made the arrangement with Yuko. She agreed as long as I married her as well and I took her up on it. I didn't promise her anything other than a ring and didn't ask for anything more than a child . . . it was set in stone not too long after my parents died. It was before I met you, before my life started to change. It's not an excuse. I should have told you, shit, I shouldn't have dragged you into this in the first place. But damn it all, I don't regret a second." I declared and held my hands together.

"I might not show it as well as I wished, but you changed me. You lit up my life when all I saw was darkness. You captured my heart and didn't give a fuck about the concequences, I've never met anyone as brave and stubborn as you. I wanted things to be different . . . I want it so bad that it hurts . . . but it's my duty. Even if it means I'll suffer for the rest of my life, I have to do it. I have to marry Yuko . . . and let you go. But I had to tell you that you were wrong. It wasn't fake, it _isn't_ fake. I'll never love anyone else."

Boruto sat up and grabbed the wine bottle closest to him, holding it in both of his hands. "I wish I had known. No, I wish I never met you." He laughed to himself though I could tell he was trying to keep it together. He opened the bottle and drank from it for several seconds. "Really though, you don't need to bother with me. Just don't."

Once again, he was closed off from me and I couldn't do anything about it. "Perhaps I wish the same thing . . . for your sake. I'll find you another position on the estate so you won't have to work in the house. Having to see me everyday after this, I think I've hurt you enough don't you think?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice steady as I stood. "Let me know what you decide to do."

Maybe what seemed like a family curse continued to ruin everything in my life, but this one was on me. It was so pitiful it wasn't even funny.

"Just like that . . . you're so willing to let me go. Then you have the nerve to act as if I ever meant anything to you. I really thought you were better than this. You need a child but what the hell makes you think you need a wife? Are you . . . you like women too? No . . . Never mind. Don't even answer that." He shook his head to himself and brought the bottle back to his lips.

I felt guilty as it was and I could take anything he had to say, knowing I deserved it, but that . . . that pissed me off. "Willing? _Willing?_ Oh, yeah I'm so fucking willing to let you go." I snapped sarcastically. "I didn't want a goddamn wife, but I have no choice, who else would agree to have my child with no strings attached? No one. Not with me. You really have no fucking idea. I'm not stupid enough to think you would stay while I have a fiancé, so what do you want me to do? And put that wine down with your baby ass!"

"I'm not putting anything down. And _maybe _you shouldn't have a damn fiancé to begin with!" He scoffed, taking another swallow out of spite.

I yanked the bottle out of his hand. "You get on my damn nerves. If you can think of a solution then you can talk shit, otherwise take your drunk ass to bed." I had tried to play nice and I spilled my heart out to him, but it didn't mean a thing. I would always be guilty as fuck, but I was done with his mouth.

"Damn you, give that back!" He growled, reaching over and trying to grab it but I held it out of reach. "That's not yours!"

"Does it have my name on it? Oh shit, look at that, it does." I mused. "That makes it mine."

"Shikadai gave me that. Doesn't matter if it's got your name, it's mine. Now, hand it over or else." He scowled at me.

My jaw clenched. "I don't give a fuck who gave it to you and it won't be happening again. What are you going to do about it?"

"Oh yeah? Well when I start living in the staff house how the hell are you gonna tell me what will and won't be happening? _Huh? _And I'm gonna fight you for it. I'm not as scrawny as I look!" He argued as he kept trying to steal it out of my hand.

"Fucking bastard." I hissed and and tossed the wine, taking hold of him instead. "You always have to make things ten times harder than they already are. Is this your way of getting back at me? Making me jealous? Well congratulations because you fucking succeeded."

"Jealous of what?" He huffed.

Was he playing innocent? "Of whoever you'll be with instead of me."

"Well at least I don't have a stupid fiance." He shot back. "I almost wish I did. Because you're so stupid. You're so freaking stupid. You don't even have to be married to have a baby! You can pay a surrogate or something. But you're just stupid. And what, you're gonna send me to work in the vineyard and hire another butler so you can fuck him too until he finds out?"

I let go of him and he plopped on the ground, landing on his ass. "Right. Of course because that's the kind of person I am, aren't I?" I laughed, completely absent of humor. "I don't know what the hell a 'surrogate' is, but I've had enough of this conversation." He was right, I was stupid. My words don't mean shit.

"And yet you call me the idiot." He snorted. "And fine, so am I. Just give me my wine and leave."

Boruto started crawling to the wine bottle and I pinched the bridge of my nose, at my wits end. I couldn't remember the last time I was ever this pissed and I wasn't going to say another word to his drunk ass. I yanked him up and threw him over my shoulder, carrying him back towards the house.

"Hey! Put me down you big meany!" Boruto struggled, smacking me on the ass repetitively.

I ignored him and his hits, fully intent on making him sleep in his room whether he liked it or not. I carried him inside and all the way up the stairs, not stopping until I was in front of his door. Boruto protested every step of the way, but I wasn't having it. I opened the door and closed it with a loud slam. Then I tossed Boruto down onto his mattress and crossed my arms.

"Ow! He whined and held his head. "Dizzy." Served him right for drinking.

I just stood there for a few moments in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't do shit. I pulled the covers over him and then turned on my heel to leave. The covers were flung aside and with a little struggle, Boruto got out of bed, muttering something to himself as he followed me. I knew, I _knew_ he was going to test his luck. I whipped back around to look at him, eyes narrowed.

"What's your problem?" He mumbled, wobbling to the left a bit.

I held out my arm to block his path, shaking my head a single time in warning.

"Move your ass, I'm leaving!" He said, slurring every word.

I was more than finished with his sass for the night and manhandled him back into bed again. He wasn't sleeping in the field and he damn sure wasn't sleeping in the staff house, not when he was this drunk.

"I don't wanna be in here." He grumbled once I backed away from him and then repeated the words again.

I pulled up a chair to his bedside and sat down, knowing we would continue this dance unless I made sure he stayed put. I didn't respond to him and glared at the floor.

"Get out of here." He whispered after another moment, pulling the covers over his head.

"No." I finally spoke, not giving a fuck about previously deciding not to right that second.

"You might get in trouble if you don't."

I scoffed. "By who? Yuko? I couldn't care less what she has to say and she can't do shit."

"What if she loves you . . ."

_Now he wants to talk._ I sighed and tried to calm down again. "If she truly loved me do you think I would be the way I am now? She didn't do anything except look away just like everyone else."

"But she still wants to marry you? What for? Money?" He questioned curiously.

"That's the real question, isn't it?" I mused. "She's fooled herself into thinking she loves me, but she isn't as independent as she thinks. If her parents say jump then she jumps. If they say they chose me to be her husband then obviously it was meant to be. She's almost as fucked up as I am . . . and I took advantage of the fact."

"So you want her, and you have her. You're all set, huh?" He sighed.

"Do you ever listen when I talk?" I asked, shaking my head. "I don't want her, I have never wanted her. It's nothing more than a business deal to me and-" I cut myself off before I got worked up again. "I don't know why I'm bothering to say anything when I know my words don't reach you anymore."

"You lied to me. Keeping the truth from me is the same as lying. You knew I'd never been with anyone else and I . . . couldn't help how I started to feel. But you knew the whole time that you were going to marry her and that you would have to get rid of me. Like I'm nothing. I am nothing. It hurts a lot, ya know. I mean you could have just chosen a surrogate and then been with me . . . but I guess you never wanted to be with me for long anyway. I don't know what I expected, really I don't. But I'll get over it. I'll be gone in the morning."

He was the most frustrating person I knew, but once again he was right. "I'm not going to make excuses. I never did. I'm not as unaffected by this whole shit fest as you seem to think. She wasn't on my mind when I was with you, she's never on my mind unless she's staring me in the face. I'll just say it clearly, I forgot about her . . . and I'm sorry that I . . . I lied. It's not like I want you to go. You're not nothing, fuck, you're-" I stopped with a groan and held my face in my hands.

He had no idea how hard this was for me. I wasn't used to this, expressing my feelings in other ways besides anger, though I had done a lot of that. I felt like I was talking in circles and every time I repeated myself my words grew emptier and emptier to him. I had already spilled my heart out to him, but that didn't matter. I couldn't even be angry anymore, I was just tired. It was apparent that I couldn't fix this. I couldn't fix us. But . . . I did wonder . . .

"What is this surrogate thing you've been going on about?"

"A woman who is willing to carry your child for you, for the right amount of money. It's all legally bound and what not and you don't have to touch her. She has the baby and then gives it to you, simple as that." He explained slowly, sounding more sober all of a sudden. "I mean, there are contracts and stuff I think. Maybe it's too complicated for you. But, I know someone who did it before."

I was frozen in place, filled with disbelief. "That . . . That's not actually a thing. You're making that up." I would have heard about it, surely I would have . . . wouldn't I? Did Yuko know about it?

"Why would I make something like this up?" He scoffed and sat up in his bed. "I'm not a liar. Go look it up before you accuse me!"

"I would if I had my phone." I said lightly, but I felt like shit. It seemed to be a permanent state of being these days. "So you're saying . . . there was another option all along? I did this, all of this for no reason? I hurt you for nothing? Well that's just fan fucking tastic. I can add it to my long list of regrets." I didn't even know what to think and for once I almost pitied myself. I'm a fucking disgrace.

"It's a lot to consider and I mean . . . Maybe you want a wife who will raise the baby for you. I don't know your thoughts on the matter, you probably don't know yourself. But, the option is there. You can research it when you find your phone. Check under your bed when you get to your room." He said before laying back down.

I raised my head from my hands, but couldn't bring myself to look at him. This didn't change anything. Breaking it off with Yuko wouldn't do a damn thing because the damage had already been done, the past was unchangeable. And I knew that better than anyone. This wasn't something either of us could just get over.

"Right . . . I'll do that." I said and got to my feet. "Goodnight . . ."

"Goodnight." He called back, voice softer.

Of course I found my phone under my bed like Boruto said it would be, I seriously needed to start checking there first when I searched for it. I was too worn out to shower and began researching the surrogate thing. It was pretty complicated, but if I had another option then I wanted to know everything about it. I ended up staying awake longer than I intended and had to make myself wait until after I got some sleep to find out more. Sleep wasn't fond of me without Boruto by my side, reverting me back to before. I was more than thankful I didn't have a nightmare at least, I wouldn't be able to take it in my current state.

The sun came shining through the small space between the curtains to wake me sooner than I liked. The familiarity made me sick. I turned over and prayed for sleep to take me again even though I doubted it would. After about five minutes, I was surprised when I felt myself drifting again. I was actually sleeping calmly when I felt something touching me. As I began to wake, the smell of sausage entered my nose and then I registered the fingers threading through my hair.

I thought it might be a dream when I opened my eyes to find Boruto. "You're . . . here?" I asked quietly, as if speaking any louder would scare him away.

"Good morning." He smiled, hand leaving my hair to slide down my cheek. "I brought your breakfast."

I was dreaming for sure, he wouldn't look at me like that. "You didn't have to do that." I said, deciding to play along until I did finally wake up.

"I wanted to. Besides, you were sleeping too long." He huffed. "What did you do, stay up all night?"

_I'm still asleep, thank you very much._ I sat up and heard a thump, turning my head towards the noise. I lifted my pillow just in time to see my phone slide between the wall and the headboard before it fell with another thump.

"Huh . . . so that's how that happens." I mused.

"You figure it out now?" Boruto sighed and knelt down, reaching under the bed for my phone. When he stood again, he set it on the bedside table beside the tray he'd brought. "Always check there. But sometimes you do lose it in other places."

"I don't know how. I try to keep it on me at all times." I said as my eyes glanced over at the food he brought. The normality was throwing me off . . . and it felt too real to be a dream.

"Why are you looking like that?" He asked as he grabbed the tray and held it towards me. "Sit up and eat before it gets cold, I'm not playing."

I moved further up the bed and took the tray, placing it over my lap. Then I picked up my fork and paused after the first bite. That tasted real as hell . . .

Boruto moved to the foot of the bed and sat down, looking over at me. "I have to go to the grocery store today . . . and go by my parents place. So, once you've finished will you call me a ride?"

"Alright, my dreams are definitely fucking with me." I thought out loud.

"Hm? Did you have a bad dream?" He asked, scooting a bit closer.

_No . . . none of that._ "I'm dreaming right now." I said, thinking that any second I would wake. This couldn't go on for much longer.

"Pft." Boruto rolled his eyes and reached over to pinch my leg through the cover.

" . . . . Ow." So it wasn't a dream . . . it wasn't a . . . "I'll see to your ride." I said and resumed eating even if now there was a chance it might be poisoned. I couldn't understand why he was acting this way, unless- "You're leaving . . . and this is your way of saying goodbye?"

"Well if that's what you were hoping for, too bad." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No." I said quickly. "That's the last thing I want. I just wasn't expecting breakfast in bed."

"I couldn't wait for you to sleep the day away. I have things to do. And I wanted to tell you that I'm not going anywhere, even if you are an idiot. I am going to keep working here and I'm gonna do what I want and you're gonna deal with it."

_So the usual._ "I see . . ." I trailed and looked down at my food, a lot of emotions running through me at once. "I'm glad."

"That's good. Not that you have a choice, but you might as well be happy about it. Oh and I went to check on Yuko this morning . . . she left."

That didn't shock me as much as it could have, but I would still have to call her so we could talk. "Well, that's one weight off my shoulders."

"Hopefully." He mumbled as he got up and stretched. "Well, enjoy your breakfast. I'll be ready whenever the car can get here."

"Alright."

Boruto took his leave after that and I mulled things over as I ate. I didn't know what was going on or how he could be treating me like this, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew I hadn't been forgiven and I hadn't expected to be, but his behavior was confusing. What was causing him to act like this? I couldn't come up with a solid answer and finished my food before I messaged the driver. I texted Boruto when he would be here and then got into the shower.

I had a lot to learn about surrogates and the process, but I decided to add it to my list of tasks for each day. I wanted to take my time so I would do this right without fucking things up again. I didn't want to rush into it, but I knew I would rather do it than marry Yuko. There were actually quite a bit of things I didn't know about because of how secluded I was. Apart from being in the country, I kept to myself and couldn't remember the last time I left the estate. The winery, the vineyard, everything I needed to work was here. I was cut off from the world.

Once I finished and got out of the shower, I saw Boruto's reply. He sent a simple thank you, but it came with a lot of cute emojis after it. I was baffled by that and wondered if this was all some kind of test. When I was dried and dressed I went downstairs to my office to get some work done. I wasn't able to get through as much as I wanted and I was admittingly distracted, my thoughts kept drifting around and my body and mind were still tired. I briefly considered a nap, but I decided against it.

I came out of the office much later and took a break. I needed to check the vineyard and visit Midnight before he got upset with me too. I could only handle one crisis at a time, I didn't need my horse stomping at me on top of everything else. I paused at the front door, hesitating another moment before I pulled out my phone. I didn't want to try my luck, but I couldn't sit back and do nothing either. Knowing Boruto had to have come back awhile before now, I sent him a text.

'_I'm going out. Do you want to come along?"_

'_Where are you going?' _He replied after a few seconds.

'_To the vineyard and then the stables.'_ I answered.

'_Can I ride Midnight with you?'_

I was taken aback by the request and foolish enough to hope for it. '_Yes.'_

I waited for a response but before I got one I heard him running down the stairs and through the hallway, making his way to me in record time. "Let's go!" He grinned, hurrying beside me and opening the door before I could.

"You're raring to go." I observed as I followed him out and locked the door behind us. "Excited to see Midnight?"

"Yes! And I wanna ride him with you so bad it's been too long!" He said as he bounced with every step he took.

It was a trap, this whole thing had to be a trap. My pace slowed as my mind wandered until Boruto took hold of my hand and tugged me along.

"You're taking too long, come on!" He grinned at me and didn't release my hand. "And stop looking so grumpy, goodness." He led me straight to the stables, eager to be able to ride Midnight, not that I blamed him. "Will you take me through the whole vineyard, Kawaki, please?" He asked hopefully, blinking up at me in his excitement. "You don't have anything else to do today, do you?"

When I couldn't find the words to respond, he stepped in front of me and reached up to stroke my cheek. His touch was as tender as it had ever been. I didn't understand, but I tilted my face into the touch, craving it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked with a slight furrow in between his brows, moving his hand back up to run through my hair again.

I leaned down to touch our foreheads together and closed my eyes. "Boruto . . . you can't treat me like this." I told him. "Or else I'll think you've forgiven me."

"Isn't that what you want?" He questioned me softly.

"Of course it is, but I have to earn it." I explained and opened my eyes again to look at him. I felt guilty as fuck for hurting him, for making him feel like he was nothing, and it was all becasue of my ignorance.

"I'm happy you feel that way. But I've already forgiven you. Doesn't mean I can forget it so easily, I'm just not one to hold a grudge." He sighed, half smiling at me as he pulled his hand away. "We're from different worlds . . . I realize that."

He was too good for me, I didn't deserve him. "I've never met anyone like you . . . our worlds truly are different." I agreed. "But I think we can manage." _And I'll never forget._

"I don't want to leave you." He told me honestly. "You're really . . . I think so much of you, Kawaki. You're not easy to figure out and I don't know a lot of things . . . but I know how I feel about you. So, I decided that even if we can't be together anymore, I still want to be here for you."

He was misunderstanding. "I'm breaking it off with Yuko." I said and leaned back. "Even if I decide not to go through with a surrogate, I'll find another way to have an heir. Who knows, there might be a lot more options out there that I haven't discovered yet."

"I really hope everything works out for you, truly. No matter what, I'll support you."

_What?_ "You . . ." I didn't finish my sentence, too caught up in my racing thoughts. He was talking as if-it sounded like . . . like he wanted to just be friends. _So this is the other shoe dropping?_

"I what?" He asked, tilting his head as he stared up at me. "I'm being honest here. Because I know that regardless of what happens, I don't want to lose you in my life. So even if it hurts being here, I'm going to be here. And you can't stop me so, too bad."

"I don't want it to hurt." I said and shook my head. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions. "I just want to see you smile." I said and traced his jaw with my thumb. "I want you to be happy."

He half laughed, cerulean eyes bright as they gazed into mine. "I believe that. Which is why you're going to take me through the whole vineyard without complaining."

"Damn, you're not pulling any punches." I said and pulled him to me, hugging his smaller frame. I missed him.

Boruto relaxed against me, embracing me back loosely while burying his face in my chest. He didn't say anything right away, but the way his hands clung to the back of my shirt told me he didn't want to let go.

After a few moments passed, he sighed and turned his head, still resting it on me. "I want to take care of you."

"Don't you already do that?"

"I didn't yesterday. Which is why I can't let certain things get to me. I need to learn to keep my emotions in check—and I will."

I could understand that, but I didn't want him to bottle anything up. "Don't let that stop you from telling me how you feel."

"You don't need to worry about that." He chuckled and then pulled away from me completely, putting several inches of space between us. "But I really do wanna ride Midnight, before I change my mind."

I nodded and led us the rest of the way to Midnight's stall. He was a little huffy that I hadn't come to see him sooner, but his mood improved when he saw Boruto. I took him out of his stall and saddled him up, helping Boruto get on first. I got on behind him and held his waist a bit tighter than necessary. We rode out along the trail and into the woods, the wind picking up the further we went. It was a nice day outside and he seemed to be enjoying it, not thinking about the height so far. It was tempting to ride around longer, but I headed back after a few hours passed.

Getting him down from Midnight was the hard part, but I was able to coax him into it. His legs gave out the second they touched the ground and I held him against me to keep him from falling. It was a lot longer than he was used to being on a horse, his legs probably felt like jelly. I took him over to a stool and sat him down before I went back to unsaddle Midnight. After I fed him some oats, I put him into his stall and checked on Boruto. He said his legs felt jittery so I gave them a good rub down.

Once he was ready to go, I took his hand to show him all of the vineyard like he asked me to. I made sure to check on the grapes as we went through them and let him have some. Boruto looked happy and was having a good time, his smile making me feel at ease. The vineyard was pretty big and took up half the afternoon. Boruto brought up making us something to eat and we headed back to the house. We had definitely worked up an appetite, but I still had work to do. I went to my office while Boruto was cooking and now had the mindset to make some real progress with my paperwork.

He came to get me when the food was ready and we both ate in the dining room. The air between us had settled, but it would never be the same as it once was. He might have forgiven me, but that didn't make my feelings disappear. I would always have this regret inside of me and would have to learn to live with it. That wasn't something new, I had a lot of regrets in my life, but this would forever be one of the more painful ones. It changed me in ways most would never see. I had to do better in the future for Boruto and I vowed that I would, I refused to cause him anymore pain.

I cared for him deeply, more than I thought I ever would for anyone, and he had done so much for me. It was about time I returned the favor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Light of my Life**

**Chapter Six**

.

A week had passed since I decided to grow up and not let my petty feelings drive me anymore. I was hurt, I'd never been so hurt, but I knew a lot of things now that I didn't know when I first started working for Kawaki.

One, he was alone, but he didn't truly want to be. Two, his family was indeed messed up and he wasn't in the best condition after dealing with them all his life. Kawaki knew a lot of things that I didn't, but I knew a lot of things that he didn't. I knew I loved him. I loved him enough to want to be with him no matter what. I didn't want him to be alone, ever. So, I would remain by his side even though we couldn't be all that I wanted us to be.

I knew he'd ended his little business arrangement with Yuko because he told me out of the blue one day, but I didn't ask him to elaborate on it. I didn't want to think about her at all and I didn't care to know any more details than I knew already.

My heart was still broken, but it didn't hurt to be around Kawaki anymore. I was able to be my usual self, keeping a bright mood whenever we ate together or anytime we were in each other's presence. It was hard to know what he was feeling, but I didn't think he was happy. He was more quiet than usual and appeared more thoughtful than ever before, but I tried to ease his mind by being the best butler I could be.

I even kept some money out of my latest check and bought myself some nice clothes. Kawaki never said anything about my attire, but I knew butlers were supposed to be dressed the part. I wasn't going for a full suit, though black slacks and white dress shirts did make a huge difference.

Today was Saturday and Kawaki had been at the winery since after breakfast. I'd gone shopping and then visited home before coming back to the estate and getting changed. I didn't even look like myself as I stared into the mirror. Very sharp. I smiled to myself and then went down to the kitchen, putting my apron on before getting dinner started.

Even after I'd finished preparing it, Kawaki had yet to return and I was doing some mopping when my phone went off in my pocket. I pulled it out to find a text from him.

'_Remind me never to let the staff run with their own ideas.'_

I raised a brow, wondering what they could have been doing over there, especially to keep him this long.

'_Got it. I'll remind you as often as you need me to. But don't forget right now.' _I replied before dropping my phone back in my pocket and getting back to work but it wasn't long before I got another text.

'_It's worse than I imagined. I can't believe I authorized this, I don't know how much more I can take.'_

'_Are you alright?' _I asked, feeling concerned. I hoped he was exaggerating and they weren't giving him too hard of a time.

'_No . . . but I'll be home soon.'_

'_Alright. Dinner will be waiting.' _I texted back before putting my phone in my pocket once more and resuming my work.

After another hour passed, I was hungry enough to have dinner without Kawaki. He'd never been gone so long before, but I knew he was busy and didn't want to bother him. I would have to just put his food away until he made it home and after I ate that's what I did.

I cleaned the kitchen and then paced around for a bit, wishing I didn't have to worry about him. He was fine, of course he was fine. But this just wasn't normal. He said he'd be home soon, but it had been hours. This wasn't like him. Just as I decided to call and check on him, the house phone started ringing and I hurried over to it, heart pounding. I prayed that nothing was wrong with him and answered the call as soon as I got my hand on the phone.

It was the driver informing me that he had Kawaki outside and I needed to come fetch him. This was certainly odd, but I hung up the phone and made my way through the house, walking outside to find the driver standing by the car. He had the back door held open, but Kawaki was still inside.

"Be careful with him." The driver said once I was within range. "After he demanded to be taken home he hasn't said a word . . . it's scary."

I walked to the open door to find Kawaki sitting there. "Are you going to stay in there all night?" I asked, not letting myself give away how annoyed I was to be kept waiting for him.

Kawaki got out of the car and walked right past me without a glance, heading inside. _What's his problem? _Trying not to sulk, I bid the driver goodnight and then went inside myself, this was yet another thing I couldn't let get to me. The door was slammed closed behind me and before I could turn around I was suddenly grabbed, held back against Kawaki's chest.

"Thank god its you." Kawaki breathed in relief. "Being around my other employees . . . it's so uncomfortable."

I didn't know what to make of him right now, but I could tell he wasn't about to let me go. "Maybe it won't always be like that." I said anxiously, willing my heart to calm down.

"I doubt it." He sighed and let his face fall to my neck. "You seem different . . ."

"R-really?" I asked, trying not to think about him being so close, or him breathing on my neck.

He hummed and stood there for a moment before spinning me around. "Something changed." He said and trailed his eyes up and down my body. "Your clothes . . ."

"Yeah." I whispered, unable to look at him in my embarrassment.

"Well shit . . . it's sexy. Really sexy." He said and pulled me back flush against him. "I like it."

"I-I'm glad." I told him, truly happy that he approved, though he didn't need to go as far as saying it was _sexy. _"I just wanted to look like a real butler."

"You look like a real meal and I'm hungry." He spoke lowly, hands beginning to wander.

_Oh no. _"Kawaki . . . Have you been drinking?"

"Yes." He said simply, lips grazing the side of my neck.

"H-hey." I shuddered, leaning away from him a bit. There was no calming my heart now and this just wasn't good for me in my current state.

"You've been distant." He said and held me tighter. "I hate it."

_Have I? _"I don't mean to be." I told him, even though I knew what he meant. "I'll do better."

He sighed, sounding frustrated. "I can't put my finger on it . . . but I really don't like it." He reiterated and then slipped his hand under my shirt. "Upstairs. Let's go."

"W-w-What?" I quipped in surprise, grabbing onto his wrist. "Kawaki . . ."

"You heard me." He said before lifting me up.

"Kawaki, wait!" He couldn't be doing this to me . . . not after I'd been doing so well at keeping a distance.

He started heading up the steps, fully intending to carry me the whole way. "I'm done waiting."

"Waiting for what?" I frowned, holding my breath when he started up the second set of stairs that led to his room.

"For you."

"What are you doing?" I asked just as he reached the third floor and started walking to his door.

He chuckled, the sound rumbling against me. "I think you know, Boruto. I can't hold back anymore and seeing you like this . . . fuck, you knew what you were doing."

_I really had no idea. _"You . . . You like it that much?" I couldn't believe that. He was probably just too drunk to know what he was saying or doing right now.

"Don't dress up like this for anyone else." He ordered and pressed my back to his bedroom door, taking the time to stop and begin attacking my throat.

I couldn't fight him. I should have, I knew I needed to, but I just didn't have the will. "Kawaki," I moaned his name, not caring one bit about anything else at the moment. I wanted him, even if I didn't need to want him.

"It's been too long," He said between nips and licks, "Since you called my name like that."

My face was burning but I couldn't take the time to be embarrassed with him making me feel like this. "Take me inside." I didn't want to waste anytime, if we were going to do this, I wanted to get on with it.

He read me loud and clear, turning the doorknob and carrying me into his bedroom. He flicked the light on and kicked the door shut, making his way to the bed next. I was tossed onto the mattress, his eyes filled with desire as he stared me down. His hand began unbuttoning his vest and his expression freely showed his longing.

"It's a damn shame that you never dressed like this before . . . but nothing can compare to your naked image." He confessed. "Take it off for me, baby."

He was determined to put me in the grave tonight and I didn't care. There wasn't a chance for me turning him down. I reached for the top button of my shirt and started undoing each as quickly as I could, sitting up once I had them all unbuttoned so I could get out of the shirt. Then I laid back and unbuckled my belt, pushing my pants down the instant I could. I wasn't nervous, but I was anxious and eager. It had been far too long.

Kawaki had taken off the vest and his shirt, his hands working on his pants. "Shit." He groaned, licking his lips. "Did you stop there on purpose? Fucking tease."

_Whoa. _It was amazing, the things he could make me feel by doing or saying so little. His words had me hooking my thumbs in my underwear and pushing them down as well while I raised my hips. "There." I murmured, staring up at him wantonly.

"I can't fucking stand it, seeing you laid out for me." He admitted and got rid of his pants and underwear in a hurry. "Take it in, Boruto. Look at how hard I am for you."

My hands covered my own erection as I gazed at his, figuring I really wouldn't survive the night at this rate. I couldn't take him talking to me like this. But I never wanted him to stop.

"Oh no you don't." He said as he crawled over me. "No hiding." He moved my wrist next to my head, leaning down to whisper in my ear. "Keep them right there, be good now."

I shivered at the order and at his breath on me. "D-don't tease me." I managed, my voice trembling with need already.

His hands slid into mine and gripped them gently. "Kiss me and I won't." He offered, raising his head.

"K-kiss?" That was asking a bit much, but it sounded so good. My lips parted as I stared up at his. I definitely wanted to. I lifted my head, inching my mouth towards his until I finally kissed him softly.

His grip tightened the smallest bit, but he didn't try to take control. He pulled back with a smile on his face and rested his forehead against mine.

"You're so sweet." He said softly. "And adorable."

"Horny." I corrected.

He laughed and sat up, looking at me fondly. "That too." He moved down my body with a glint in his eyes. "Remember, keep your hands there."

"What if I want to touch you?" I frowned, knowing good and well I wouldn't be able to keep them still.

"You can touch me. After."

"A-after what?" No way I'd last until after he fucked me.

He leveled his face with my member, hands spreading my thighs. "After I eat you out." He smirked.

"What? You what?" I panted, lifting my head as I stared at him worriedly.

He didn't bother repeated himself and dove right in, his tongue tracing around my rim. I gasped and my hands flew from the bed, down towards his head. He intervened before I could grip his hair and held my wrists down by my waist. His mouth covered my sensitive area, tongue flush against it as he sucked hard.

"Kawaki!" I gasped and then moaned, trying to pull my arms free from his grasp but his hold on my wrists didn't falter.

He kept sucking for awhile, greedily pulling more sounds from my throat. It seemed like forever before he finally pushed his tongue inside of me, swirling around as he went further and further. I couldn't take it. He thrust the wet appendage slowly and didn't hold back as he buried his face against me. He was determined to reach as far as he could, seeking to bring me as much pleasure as possible. My thighs trembled and my cock twitched, but I still couldn't move my hands. It was frustrating, I wanted to touch him so badly, but it felt so good. It was overwhelming, something I had never experienced before and he wasn't taking it easy on me.

He took his time taking me apart, but his ministrations grew more intense every second. He sucked and licked over and over with a few groans of his own that vibrated through me. Kawaki was driving me crazy. I was left weak and wanting when he did pull away, wiping his chin as he stared down at me. His fingers went down to my entrance and slipped inside without resistance.

"Fucking hell, you're so soft." He growled, leaning over me.

My hands were finally free so I was quick to cradle his face. "I need you now. Please." I said, urging him closer. If I didn't come soon, I wasn't going to make it.

"I've got you, baby, just a little while longer." He said as his fingers moved around, stretching me quickly.

My head fell back as I moaned, fingers curling in his hair. He just needed to give it to me, I couldn't wait any longer. My member was pulsing in rebellion, desperate for a touch. I couldn't help but pull one hand away from him to move in between us, reaching for my erection. Once again he intercepted me and placed it next to my head.

"None of that." He said and pulled his fingers out, quickly replacing them with the tip of his dick. He began entering me slowly with a hiss, struggling not to take things too fast. His head fell to my shoulder when his balls met my ass, breaths coming out in pants. "Shit . . . I'm already about to lose it."

"Please move." I begged, wrapping my free arm around his neck.

He gladly began making shallow thrust with his hips, hand slipping into mine again. "Boruto."

"Y-you can do better than that." I said as softly as I could, my own hips moving beneath him.

"Do you want me to explode?" He asked, but deepened his thrusts anyway. "Fuck. I've missed you. All of you."

"Me too." I whimpered. "I've missed you too."

He kissed my neck a few times before picking up speed, working his way up to drive us over the edge. He held my hand gently but firmly all the while, refusing to let go. I tilted my head to give him more room when he began mouthing at my throat, changing his kisses to harsh sucks and soothing licks.

I didn't care if he marked me all over, it felt too good. I was so close to coming and I knew he was right there with me. As badly as I wanted to get there, I didn't want this to end. I couldn't _not _let this happen . . . but there was a fear in the back of my mind that this was only happening because of the fact that he was drunk.

"Kawaki," I gasped when he thrusted into me deeper, harder all of a sudden. I couldn't hold out any longer. "I'm gonna—"

"Do it." He cut me off, his other hand taking hold of my cock and stroking me without mercy.

I wasn't expecting that and my breath hitched, body stiffening as I came with a loud moan. He was right behind me as I tightened around him, a hard shudder running through him. He didn't stop his thrusts or his hand on my member, dragging out my orgasm for as long as possible. I clung to him and took everything he gave me. It really had been too long for both of us. He milked me dry before he let go of my cock and stilled with his own member buried inside of me.

His weight was a welcomed pressure on top of me as the strength left his body, both of us lying still while we caught our breaths. I brought my hand to his hair, playing with it slowly. He needed to sleep this off, but he really needed to eat dinner.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly, rubbing his back as I continued to play with his hair.

He hummed and pressed a kiss to my jaw. "Are you?"

"I'm fine." I assured him with a smile. "You need to eat."

"Just did." He chuckled. "And it was delicious."

My face went red and I felt faint. "Kawaki, stop." I chided him. "I'm serious. You have to eat dinner. You know, the one I actually cooked for you. Then you're going to sleep."

"I can't waste anything you cook." He agreed, but made no move to get up, instead holding me closer. "Come with me?"

"Actually, I think it's best if you just wait here. I can bring it up to you." I told him, urging him to roll off of me so I could get up.

He huffed and did so reluctantly. "Okay."

"Don't pout." I said, leaning over him to kiss his cheek. "It won't take me long."

". . . Promise?"

"Yes, promise." I smiled as I got up and found my underwear, quickly stepping into them. "Don't go anywhere. I mean it."

"I'll stay put." He said. "And keep the bed warm for you."

I didn't say anything to that, because I shouldn't have been in his bed at all, but it was impossible to resist with him coming at me like this. I hurried downstairs and got his plate out of the fridge, heating it up until I deemed it ready. I fixed his tray with everything he'd need, grabbing a bottle of water for him to drink. I hoped this would settle him and he'd sleep okay.

When I returned to the bedroom, he hadn't moved, true to his word. He did sit up once he saw me and I carried the tray over to him, setting it over his lap. "Take your time." I said, not wanting him to eat too quickly and risk a stomach ache.

"Looks good." He complimented before digging in. "Did you eat?"

I nodded as I sat down next to him. "Not long after you told me you'd be home soon and never showed until hours later, drunk off your ass and then have the nerve to try and tell me I can't drink."

He froze before looking at me sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I had to taste everyone's new ideas and didn't expect them to be so strong . . . I didn't think I would get drunk. And they tasted like shit."

"Whatever." I crossed my arms and sulked. It wasn't fair that he could drink and I couldn't.

"Don't do that . . . it makes it hard to tell you no." He admitted. "I know you want to drink, but . . . I'm worried you'll do it when I'm not around."

"And I will. Since you won't let me do it when you are around." I told him honestly.

He sighed, a smile on his face. "You troublesome blond. Fine, damn it. You can drink. But only with me."

"I hope you remember that. If not I'll sneak out and drink again just to spite you."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't you fucking dare."

"Oh?" I snickered. "And if I do?"

"I won't like it." He grumbled, stuffing his face angrily. "I don't know what I'll do, but I won't like it."

"Then I guess you won't forget what you agreed to." I smiled.

He huffed again, but nodded his head. We would just have to see how this went. I waited patiently for him to eat, even though he was still rushing it. Once he finished, I grabbed the tray off his lap but when I went to get up with it he stopped me by grabbing my arm. He didn't say anything, but the way he looked down away from me was enough to let me know he didn't want me to go.

"I'll stay. Just let me set this on the table there." I told him and he let my arm go with a look of relief.

I sat the tray on the bedside table and then got under the covers. There was a lot of cleaning I'd have to do in the morning, but for tonight I could let myself and Kawaki have this time.

Kawaki pulled me close, snuggling. "I get nightmares when you're not here." He confessed quietly. "About the past. I don't know how you do it, but . . . you make them go away. Ever since the first time you slept with me."

My heart constricted and I wrapped my own arm around him, resting my face against his chest happily. "Then I'll just have to be here to sleep with you every night."

"Only if you want to." He said, realizing how it sounded. "But I like it better when you're here."

"Of course I want to. I just . . ." I cut myself off with a sigh. "It doesn't matter. Just get some sleep, alright?"

"Alright."

I wondered if he had any idea how much he meant to me. Even if I couldn't tell him, I wanted to show him in any way that I could. I would be all that he needed me to be, always. Because he deserved that much. He didn't say anything more and it wasn't long with me running my fingers through his hair that he fell asleep. I really did love him like crazy and I wasn't sure how I could ever live without him. I didn't think it was possible.

Eventually I drifted off to sleep and woke up in the same position. Kawaki was still asleep and I was content staring at his sleeping face, beginning to play with his hair again because I loved it so much. I probably should have gotten up and started breakfast, but I didn't want to leave him. It was going to be even more difficult to do so after learning about his nightmares—and the fact that I helped him sleep soundly without them.

Some time passed before he stirred, stiffening before his eyes ever opened. I figured he would be uncomfortable after drinking so much, so I started massaging his temples and scalp slowly, mindful not to be too firm. He let out a light breath in relief and enjoyed the attention for a moment before his eyes flew open.

"Bor . . . uto?"

_Oh no. He doesn't remember. _"Good morning." I greeted him softly, smiling even if it was true. Even if he had forgotten.

His face erupted into a blush and he was quick to hide it in the pillow. "Oh fuck . . . I can't believe it."

"Which part?" I mumbled curiously, resuming my ministrations.

"All of it." He groaned. "Fucking hell."

"I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to." I admitted. "I can't apologize either."

He peeked over at me. "I didn't want it to happen that way . . . with my drunk ass attacking you. I was supposed to give you more time . . . and I fucked up."

"Well . . . you couldn't wait any longer. If you did, you probably would have killed me." I chuckled lightly as I moved my fingers over his scalp slowly.

His eyes slid closed again, lulled by my touch. "Feels good." He murmured and then added, "You're not mad about it? You . . . you wanted to?"

"I'm not mad. I did want to. Though I was trying not to. I only want to give you all of me if I can have all of you. Because that's fair. That's why I've distanced myself. Yes, last night happened. But . . . I can't do it again unless you can give me what I want." I had to be honest, it was the only way.

He took a few seconds to take in my words. "And you want all of me."

"Well yes. I just said that." I laughed. "Is it so hard to believe?"

"No." He said and opened his eyes once more. "But . . . you might not like what you see. What if you change your mind?"

"I will love all of you from the bottom of my heart as long as you don't go marrying someone else. Or touching someone else. Or liking someone else. Or anything like that. If you'll be faithful and devoted to me, then I will be everything you want."

Kawaki smiled at me. "It sounds like you're getting the short end of the stick if you ask me, but I think the least I can do is manage that."

"You're being ridiculous. Which is nothing unusual." I sighed, pulling his hair a bit. "We can make each other happy, I know that. You're the one getting stuck with a measly, baby butler."

"Who said that? I'll kick their ass." He huffed. "There is nothing measly about you and you're an excellent butler . . ." He trailed and then added as his face reddened again, "Though you are my baby."

"Yeah?" I grinned. "I guess that's not the same as you thinking of me as a kid."

"Definitely not." He chuckled.

"Well, as your butler, it's past time for me to get up and cook your breakfast and maybe get you something for the headache. But first, we should shower."

He hummed in agreement. "Sounds like you have it all figured out. I'm not surprised."

"Well it is my job." I told him proudly, smile bright as ever and then we both laughed together.

Going to my own room for a personal shower was my plan, but Kawaki didn't let me. He pulled me into his bathroom with him and of course I didn't argue. There was a lot on my mind and his confession from the night before kept playing over in my head, I wanted to ask him about it but breakfast came first.

When we finished with our shower, I went down to my room on the second floor, towel wrapped around my waist. I had to get dressed and I had new clothes that apparently Kawaki liked. They were all the same, black slacks and white button ups. I rolled the sleeves up to my elbows since I was going straight down to cook, combed my hair and checked myself in the mirror. I really liked this new look. It made me feel less inferior to Kawaki. My shirt was tucked in perfectly and I vaguely wondered how I would look with a vest and tie. It was something to try maybe next week.

I went downstairs and into the kitchen, starting breakfast right away. While it was cooking, I ran up to Kawaki's room to get his tray from the previous night and found him searching under his bed for something. He hadn't heard me walk in and I knowingly grabbed his pants from yesterday off the floor, finding his phone in his pocket as I suspected. Walking over to him, I bent over and moved my arms around his neck, feeling down his chest brazenly with his phone in my hand.

"Looking for something?" I asked teasingly and he grumbled a curse. I giggled as he took the phone from me, greedily letting my hands roam down his stomach and back up slowly before I straightened and pulled away.

Kawaki stood up and turned around to face me, eyes darkening as they took in my clothes. "Boruto . . . I don't think that uniform is going to work." He told me, voice grave. "Unless you don't intend to keep it on for long."

I blinked at him in confusion, totally missing what it was he was trying to say. "You don't like it?" I thought he did . . .

His eyes continued to rake over me and he swallowed hard before muttering, "More than a little too much."

A blush formed on my cheeks and I quickly busied myself with collecting the tray. "Breakfast is almost ready. So go to the dining room as soon as you can."

I didn't mean for him to rush and follow me down, but he did. He hung around in the kitchen while I washed some dishes and finished breakfast and then we ate together in the dining room. Kawaki had to go to his office after that and I had more dishes to wash. Once I finished with them I started a load of clothes and cleaned his room, once again thinking about what he'd told me—about his nightmares.

Kawaki's past . . . just what had he experienced? How long had he been alone? How many nightmares had he had? I didn't know how I helped other than just being with him, but the thought made me never want to leave his side again. And I wouldn't as long as he was sleeping. Even if I was mad. The more I thought about it all, the more depressed I got. I felt so guilty for separating myself from him. I did it selfishly for myself, not taking his feelings into consideration at all and that wasn't the kind of person I was. It wouldn't happen again. No matter what.

After I finished my cleaning in his room and got his clothes put away, and my own, I wandered through the house until I reached his office. I didn't find him there, or at least not at first. He was outside on the balcony that wrapped around the entire estate. He heard me and called me to him. I walked to the open door, but didn't take a step out. It was far too high and open for me even if it was perfectly safe.

My reluctance amused him and he walked from the banister over to me, pulling me into his arms and walking me over to a nearby hammock. I felt secure as long as I was this close to him and I'd never been in a hammock before. It was a little strange but enjoyable laying there with him holding me. I curled up to him, resting my head on his chest. It wasn't scary at all if he was with me and I thought it was surely possible for me to overcome my fear of heights as long as I was with Kawaki.

We were quiet for a while and Kawaki was fingering my collar, brushing across my throat and collarbone, threatening to make me want a little more all over again. I didn't stop him even if the gentle touch was getting to me, it was only because I liked it so much. But I still had a lot on my mind and I wanted to know more, I wanted some clarity. If he didn't want to tell me, I would accept that. But I was still going to ask.

"Kawaki . . . will you tell me about your nightmares—about your past?" I asked carefully. "I want to know more about you, about where you came from and how you became the man you are today."

He didn't respond right away and his chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. "You're sure you want to know?" He asked softly. "I've tried to protect you from it ever since you first came here . . ."

"I want to know everything. If you'll tell me." I told him honestly. I didn't want to push him, but I needed to know.

His hand started rubbing my back, the motion calming to us both. "Where should I start . . ." He trailed and collected his thoughts. "My family consisted of my parents and my grandparents with me as the only heir. This house, it wasn't a good environment for any child to grow up in and if it wasn't for my gran, I would have turned out differently. She was my whole world, Boruto. I wish you could have met her."

"Oh, she must have been a lovely lady. I wish I could have met her too." I told him with a smile, holding onto him a little tighter.

"I think you two would have gotten along." He said, hugged me back. "She was as gentle as they came, but wouldn't hesitate to smack me upside the head if she needed to." He chuckled and I giggled at the description. "Gran straightened my ass out and she taught me a lot, but . . . her life was just as hard as mine. You could never meet a bigger piece of shit than my grandfather. Apparently my family has a long history of being cruel bastards and he was determined to keep up the tradition. I hated that man more than anything.

"He made my gran's life a living hell and forced her into marriage. She was like you, a kind hearted soul from the countryside. He was taken with her and resorted to threats when she turned him down. She never told me what the threats were, but she did say she agreed to marry him to save her family. Even since then she was a prisoner . . . kept under lock and key like some kind of animal."

Kawaki's body was trembling in rage and he had to stop his story for a moment. I reached up and started playing with his hair, silently trying to comfort him.

"It was horrible." He continued. "She stayed as far away from him as possible, but his room was still on the same floor. I wanted to save her so badly, but I was powerless. All I could do was sneak into her room and give her some company at the very least. My parents were no help either. Mother was so self absorbed that you would think she was the only person on the planet. I was nothing but her little dress up doll, a kid she could show off at parties and then toss aside.

"My father . . . he was a full blown bitch. He was as crooked and mean as my grandfather, trying to live up to his disgusting legacy. He was on my case as much as my grandfather, but my grandfather got on his too. He would rant and rave about how 'soft' my father was being with me and in turn . . . let's just say he was the only one in this house that I ever feared. The whole family was just . . . evil, aside from gran. They wanted me to be just like them, to treat the staff like replaceable pieces of dirt. All I could do was keep my head low and try to survive, but it was near impossible as the future head of the family."

"I'm glad you're not like them. You must have taken after gran, huh? But they're all gone now . . . I wish she could be here." I told him, truthfully not knowing what to say about the other members of his family. His grandfather especially.

Kawaki clung to me suddenly, his voice going quieter. "She was the first to go . . . they killed her, Boruto. Sucked the life right out of her. She had dealt with it much longer than I had and didn't have nearly as much freedom. It got to the point where she couldn't take anymore . . . and she passed away in her sleep."

"I'm glad she had you. I'm sure you made her happy." I whispered back, holding onto him as tightly as he was me. "I'm scared to know what happened to you after you lost her."

He didn't answer for the longest time, but finally his hold loosened. "Things changed. But I never forgot her and did my damndest to stay true to the person she wanted me to be. My teenage years were spent in rebellion. I grew to be someone they couldn't order around and took full advantage, hence all the piercings and tattoos."

"I'm glad you did . . . I really like them. And now you're free anyway. It's just you . . . and me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He said and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "My aintics sent my grandfather to the grave with a fatal ulcer, he couldn't stand the fact that he couldn't do shit to stop me. As for my parents . . . I'm still not sure what exactly happened. They went to another country on some vacation and the next thing I knew I was planning their funeral. The crash was said to be an accident, but knowing my father . . . I suspected it was someone my family had scorned in the past getting revenge. Now this house is empty aside from me . . . and you."

"Yeah." I hummed cheekily. "Don't forget me."

He chuckled at that. "I would never."

"Better not." I said, moving myself to lean over him. He was beautiful and I loved him. "Can I have a kiss?"

His hand came up to cup my face. "Of course, baby."

I grinned as I closed the distance between our lips, kissing him as softly as I ever did. I still had no idea what I was doing, but it never felt anything less than perfect. I stole a few extra kisses because I knew I could get away with it and then finally pulled away. There were a million things I could be doing, but this was all I wanted to do.

"You make me really happy." I admitted with a softer smile.

"That's my line." He insisted, smiling back. "You really are the light of my life."

"Nah, you got it backwards, silly." I laughed and rubbed my hand over his chest. "You're going to be wrinkled ya know."

He shrugged, looking smug. "My butler will fix it. He's handy for things like that, the best butler around."

"Y-you're just saying that." I said with a blush.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Come on now, I don't joke about things like that. You're good at your job, Boruto, damn good. I dare anyone else to say differently."

"Doesn't matter what anyone else says anyway. You're the boss." I told him smugly. "I'm not too shabby, I guess."

"Being able to deal with me, you have to be more than plain old shabby."

"Reminds me . . . I should probably get lunch started." I sighed, laying my head back on his chest because I didn't want to go.

He hummed, arms coming back up to wrap around me. "Five more minutes."

"Five more minutes." I agreed quietly, closing my eyes at how content I felt. "But I might fall asleep."

"You're more than welcome to." He told me and started playing with my hair.

_Spoiled and pampered. _There was nothing I wanted more than to give in, it would have taken no longer than a moment for me to fall asleep, but I didn't want to keep him from his work or anything.

"Better not. Gotta eat." I mumbled, yawning as soon as the words left me. _Oh no._

"Later." He said and massaged my scalp.

"Kay." I whispered, already drifting off. Even knowing what he'd experienced before I came into his life, I was happy right now, because I knew I could make him happy. That was all I wanted.


End file.
